100 Beard Puns: Jokes And One-Liners

Discover hilarious beard puns and jokes about facial hair that will make you laugh out loud at Beard and Company.

Are You Searching for Humorous Beard Puns to Perk Up Your Funny Bone? Well look no further as here at Beard Puns we have put together an amusing selection that’s guaranteed to bring out laughter in all. At this lighthearted yet friendly space we aim to spread joy through hilarious Beard Jokes that will have everyone smiling; with jokes featuring beards guaranteed to turn some heads and put smiles on faces everywhere. Laugh out loud now as we enter into the realm of Funny Beard Lines; let’s show everyone that beards aren’t all style but can also bring laughter – show everyone they needn’t just look fabulous; let them lighten up everyone’s day and show everyone they should join in the laughter too.

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Funny Beard Puns

Beard Puns
  • Are You Stuck at an Impasse? A Trim Can Help Secure Forward Progress!
  • Bearded detectives can often be found working a case.
  • Fuzz-ball! What sport are beards known for playing.
  • Your beard could soon catch flame, making for an irresistibly hot look!
  • Have you noticed how Santa’s beard always stays white and pure-white, never graying over time?
  • My friend told me he hates blacksmithing because it can get very hot, so I told him not to worry since only he can “forge” his own beard!
  • Don’t feel discouraged if your beard won’t grow; that doesn’t have to be an insurmountable roadblock – you still can’shave’ with dignity!
  • Why did he split with his razor? Simply because they had grown tired of one another!
  • Bearded chefs must serve Beard-iccini Alfredo!
  • If your beard could work out, it would have an idealized chin line.
  • Can we discuss your incredible whisker management? I beg your pardon but would be keen to hear about how well-managed is it?
  • If your beard starts moving around like it’s dancing, that means your stubble swing has begun!
  • Advert: Seeking top hat for slim bearded wizard, inquire within hair-tagonal alley.
  • Boxers traditionally groom their beards before an important match to prepare for what can only be described as an epic hair fight-hair round.
  • What should the Instagram handle of someone with beard be? @Facialfoli_yay!
  • Do beard poets make talented poets? Only if their verse rhymes.
  • Beards aren’t only stylish; they’re an indispensable commodity during winter.
  • Recently I saw a lion with an elegant beard; surely that must have been one dapper-looking fellow?
  • One day he enters a bar: “Hold on to that razor; I’m driving.”
  • Beard icicles are the sure sign that it’s cold out there… making for quite the sight!
  • What do bearded men and gardens share in common? Both require regular trim-ming.
  • Whisker-biscuits should be at the top of their beard-owners’ food lists.
  • If only beards could tell tales! Imagine all of the hilarious adventures they could tell!
  • Why did the beard cross the road? He wanted to cause some amusement!
  • Looking to reduce or remove a beard altogether? Simply’shave’ away!
  • My beard was an effective woman magnet; unfortunately they all gravitated to its food particles embedded inside.
  • What do we call beards that change shape over time? Trans-beard-mation!
  • “I don’t consider myself lazy; instead I choose to grow facial hair because, over time, facial hair always prevails!
  • I saw someone combing his beard; it was quite captivating; perhaps this will become one of those stories about hair!
  • Beard shoppers must visit the’mandatory’ grooming aisle when out shopping.

Read More: Funny Forehead Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Funny Beard Puns

  • What should a beard wear to formal events? A bow tie with beard-tails!
  • Are you familiar with how beards get their news? Hair-paper!
  • Ghost beards exist; they appear randomly and vanish after shaving!
  • If your beard begins investing in stocks, I guess you’ve discovered the hair-tage market!
  • Bearded Fishermen Are Donning Beards to Capture Whiskerfish!
  • Why do wizards sport long beards? So they can cast spells that produce fur-raising results!
  • What do you call sci-fi beards? Star Whiskers.
  • Never underestimate a man with a beard; you never know what lies beyond its surface.
  • If only beards could tell time! Imagine making friends with Father Time-hair!
  • What movie would a beard enjoy most? Hairy Potter.
  • I tried writing a funny joke about an un-bearded guy…but my attempt wasn’t very appealing!
  • Do beards tell jokes? Certainly; many possess keen wit!
  • What beverage do beards like best? Whisker-y on the rocks!
  • If your beard produces musical tones, that indicates you possess a distinctive “hairy-tone”.
  • Why doesn’t my beard want to leave? Because it feels secure within its cozy perch on my chin-tasy land!
  • Should your beard turn into an exotic forest, get ready for an adrenaline-pumping journey!
  • Donning an unexpected beard expansion like a whiskery bison!
  • Shaving off your beard could be one of the worst mistakes ever committed against yourself.
  • Know you’ve become addicted to No-Shave November when you begin tracking the length and thickness of your whiskers every day for growth!
  • Beards are simply facial hair trying to mimic head hair; they always extend further to reach into your chin-cheek region than necessary.
  • Engaging in mysterious activities? Doing so only fuels the con-spiri-tache-y.
  • If your beard could sing, it would certainly perform hair-oake!
  • When your beard starts talking back to you, that must mean it has something important to say about its heritage!
  • Should your facial hair go on strike, that would constitute an industrial beard-dispute!
  • Beard styling done correctly could make you the talk of the town! Achieve perfection when creating your beard can truly set you apart as an artist among your peers and become one of a kind!
  • What would a beard say before beginning its speech? “Before we begin…”
  • I had tried my hardest to grow a beard but was met with nothing but whiskery resistance.
  • Once your beard begins dating, this could mark a potentially unique romance!
  • My friend told me he wasn’t sure at first if his new beard would appeal, but eventually came around and liked it more and more.
  • What letter would a bearded pirate choose as his favorite letter? Arrr-full beard!

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Funny Beard Jokes

  • What do you call an unexpected visitor at a hair party? A fly in a beard.
  • Beards have always been popular; therefore size does matter in this aspect of their wearability.
  • Beards might not have vocal cords, but they certainly know how to HUM-a tune!
  • Beards are like pumpkins: the bigger and rounder they are, the better!
  • Growing beards for guys is all about maintaining hair-care heritage.
  • Ever met a bearded beekeeper? These experts know everything there is about honey-comb structures.
  • Beards that show leadership abilities indicate they’re leading from the front.
  • Beard debates always ignite heated discourse!
  • What advice might a father give their son regarding girlfriend issues? Son, it’s time for you to shave!
  • When discussing issues in person, those sporting long beards always have more to say than those without.
  • Words of wisdom from an elder beard to young whiskers: “Don’t fret: your beard will grow!”
  • Did you hear about the guy who installed a map in his beard to ensure he wouldn’t get lost in a forest of hair-forest!? He wanted to ensure his way home!
  • Are You Entering Marriage Soon? That will put an exclamation point to Your Single Beard!
  • What animal likes growing beards the best? Grizzly Bear-ds!
  • Are Beards Up For Adventure? Yes! Beards love nothing better than to go on an exciting new journey!
  • Everyday shaves can help ease beard anxiety! Remember: shaving daily keeps beard blues at bay!
  • What did the restaurant owner call his award-winning stew recipe? Beard Broth.
  • What do we call beard-wearers with glasses? Intellectual facial hair!
  • Beards can serve as an effective form of crumb control!
  • Ever come across a gardener with a beard? These experts at trimming and edging specialize in keeping gardens neat.

Read More: Funny Hairs Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Funny Beard One-Liners

  • What’s the key to growing an incredible beard? Just some light trimming.
  • If your beard paints well, I believe you might be an artistic hairstylist.
  • Beards are stunning pieces of artwork to wear upon one’s face and appreciate.
  • Some men grow beards to demonstrate they’re lumbersexual while others simply want a masculine aesthetic.
  • What do you call a dancing beard? A goatee!
  • Have a shorter beard but want it longer? Just stretch the T-ruths outward, and your beard will grow longer!
  • Why do beards hate Sundays? Because Monday always comes fast!
  • What car does a beard prefer? A Brushe-Ride!
  • Why did the moustache leave its relationship with the beard? Because of sideburns!
  • My beard isn’t unruly – just exploring its wild side – let’s call it beardy-gone-wild!
  • Bearded celebrities are like cinema without popcorn – both can’t exist together!
  • Beards: not an accessory but an integral component of living the “beardiful” life!
  • Beards can be pirates’ greatest allies on the high seas! A beard serves as both protection and weapons in its arsenal of sea power.
  • If your beard can accurately forecast weather, that makes for a fantastic whisker-cast!
  • Beards can serve dual functions: convey wisdom while serving as built-in napkins!
  • Why did he bring his razor? Intent upon sharing an intimate shave with someone special at the party!
  • What exactly does one refer to an “adventurist beard?” Simply an adventurer of facial front-hair!
  • Gone are the days of paper and pen; today beards reign supreme!
  • Brushes compete head to head against beard combs when it comes to beard care.
  • What was said between beard and barber? “You are absolutely astounding at cutting hair!”

Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.