200+ Funny Ice Hockey Puns And One-Liners

What’s up? Are you searching for some cool and funny ice hockey puns? If yes, this post is just for you.

Today in this post we have covered some of the funniest puns related to ice hockey. With these puns, you can make your game even more interesting and exciting.

Table of Contents

Top Funny Ice Hockey Puns

Top Funniest Ice Hockey Puns

What do you call a hockey player who’s also a chef? A puck-tastic cook!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always making excuses? A sorry sport.
The team’s new mantra: “Ice, ice, baby!”
Why don’t chess players make good hockey stars? They lose their knights too easily!
Why should you never play ice hockey with birds? They always steal the puck for their nests!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A bench warmer.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always losing his temper? A hot head on ice.
Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game? To see his long-term goals!
Why don’t aliens play hockey? They can’t stand the chill!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Check n’ roll!
Why don’t bank robbers make good hockey players? Too many checkings!
Why don’t hockey players ever win the lottery? They’re always hitting the posts!
The team’s new slogan: “Stick together, win together!”
What’s the hardest part about ice hockey? The ice doesn’t fight back, but the puck does!
What do you call a hockey player who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
The zamboni driver’s favorite song? “Smooth Operator.”
Why did the tomato turn red during the hockey game? Because it saw the salad dressing!
The zamboni driver’s favorite book? “Fifty Shades of Ice.”
The team’s new slogan: “Chill out and play hard!”
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up at the hockey game? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always bench pressing? A power play specialist.
Why do hockey players always carry a map? So they never miss the goal post!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always hydrating? A water boy wonder.
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? They needed to make a net deposit!
What do you call a group of musical hockey players? The puck band!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always stretching? A flex-ible asset.
Ice hockey: the only job where you’re praised for having a cool head and ice in your veins.
Ice hockey – when brushing your teeth is considered optional!
Why did the hockey player go to the zoo? They wanted to see the puck-uins!
The ice rink’s new DJ? He really knows how to drop the bass.
The coach’s favorite drink? On the rocks, of course.
Why did the hockey player go to the hardware store? They needed to buy a new puck-et wrench!
What do you call a caveman who’s good at hockey? A Puck Neanderthal!
Hockey players are like the mafia. They both make you an offer you can’t refuse and leave you bruised!
The team’s nutritionist is always telling players to eat more greens. Must be all that iceberg lettuce.
Why are hockey players so tough? They can nail a check without batting an eye!
The team’s new slogan: “Icing on the competition!”
What do you call an open-netter in hockey? A freebie!
I tried to be a hockey goalie, but I just couldn’t handle the pressure. I was a total basket case.
How do you get a hockey player off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!
How are hockey players like pancakes? They both get flipped and served!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always arguing? A sin bin syndrome sufferer.
Why can’t you play hockey with pigs? They hog the puck!
Why do hockey players never sweat? They have ice in their veins!
Why did the hockey player go to the gym? They wanted to get in tip-top puck-shape!
Why are hockey players like coffee? The best ones grind till the end!
The team’s new slogan: “Stick it where the sun don’t shine… the ice rink!”
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? They needed to make a puck-deposit!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always borrowing equipment? A stick-y fingers bandit.
Why was the sun not allowed to play hockey? It kept melting the ice!

Funny Ice Hockey Puns and One-Liners

The team’s new strategy? Putting their rivals on thin ice.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always complaining? A whine and cheese party.
What’s a ghost’s favorite position on an ice hockey team? Ghoul-tender!
Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game? To plot his course to victory!
Why don’t vampires love hockey? They can’t handle the stakes!
Why are ice hockey games great meals? They show you what it’s like to have all your teeth in a row!
Hockey players are like morning people: they’re better when they snap to it!
The referee’s favorite TV show? “Law & Order: Special Victims Rink.”
What do you call a hockey player with no girlfriend? Goal-less!
How do hockey keepers enter the rink? Well, they just waltz in through the net door!
The referee’s favorite dance move? The power play slide.
Why do goalies make good comedians? Because they always catch the pucks line!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always trash-talking? A lip service specialist.
Why did the hockey player bring a microscope to the game? To analyze his micro-manages!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always hogging the puck? A disc jockey.
Why did the hockey player bring a calculator to the game? To check his stats-us!
The team’s new motto: “Slap shot to the top!”
The team’s new ritual? Icing on the cake before each game.
Why did the hockey player bring a mirror to the game? For some self-reflection on his play!
Why did the hockey player bring a cookbook to the game? He wanted to cook up a victory!
The team’s new fitness regimen? Cross-checking their diet.
Why did the hockey player bring a dictionary to the game? To look up ‘win’!
Why don’t ghosts play hockey? The puck goes right through them!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always blocking shots? A pane in the glass.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always changing teams? A puck-et hopper.
What’s an eco-friendly hockey player’s favorite rule? Recycling the puck!
The enforcer’s favorite drink? Punch.
Why don’t figure skaters play hockey? Too much stick work!
Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game? To look for the fine print in the rule book!
I told my doctor I get dizzy playing hockey. He said I got checked too hard!
I asked the equipment manager for some new gear. He told me to puck off.
Why did the hockey player bring a compass to the game? To find his true north-south play!
A hockey player’s diet: ice before game, fights for meat, and cup for dessert!
Why do they never serve beer at a hockey game? Because it’s cold enough!
Why are hockey players like lazy dogs? They both spend a lot of time in the penalty box!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite vegetable? Puck-choy!
The referee’s favorite dance? The penalty box step.
Why do bakers make good hockey players? They’re great at rolling the dough!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always practicing? A rink-aholic.
Why was the hockey puck feeling down? It was board with the game.
What do a hockey player and a magician have in common? They both disappear after the act!
The team’s new strategy? Putting all their eggs in one basket. They’re really skating on thin ice with that one.
Any hockey player can handle the puck. A real pro handles the punch!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a writer? A puck-ing good author!
The goalie’s favorite movie? “Crease Lightning.”
Why is there no tea in hockey? Because it’s a cup only!
Why did the hockey player bring a clock to the game? To watch his ice time!
The team’s new strategy? Skating circles around the competition.
Why did the hockey player go to the gym? They wanted to get in tip-top shape for the big game!
Why did the hockey puck go to the party? Because it was tired of being slapped around!

Cute Ice Hockey Puns For Instagram

The goalie’s favorite TV show? “Masked Singer.”
The team’s new strategy? Giving their opponents the cold shoulder.
Why do good hockey players make lousy dancers? Too much focus on checking!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a magician? A puck-eroo!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a musician? A puck-tastic performer!
Why did the hockey team go to the bakery? Because they needed a good roll!
Why are hockey games always won in the kitchen? Because that’s where all the best cups are!
How do hockey players keep their pants up? With ice-belts!
Why don’t hockey players ever get cold feet? They’re always on the ice!
How do hockey players spice up their food? They use penalty pepper!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always celebrating? A goal-den boy.
What do hockey players and trees have in common? The good ones stick around!
Why is a referee like an angry chicken? They both get fowled up!
Why did the hockey player bring a calculator to the game? To crunch some ice-cold numbers!
Why don’t hockey players ever get lost? They always follow the blue line.
Why are hockey players like gold? Even when they’re in the box, they’re valuable!
The team’s new strategy? Breaking the ice with their opponents… literally.
How do ice hockey stars light up the rink? With their match stick!
Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? They had a case of the puck-ups!
How do you get a hockey player to stop biting his nails? Make him wear gloves!
How do ice hockey players stay cool during a game? They chill next to the boards!
Why do goalkeepers love grocery shopping? They’re good at keeping things out of the net!
The coach’s favorite TV show? “Game of Zones.”
How does a hockey player express love? He gives you a puck and says, “I’m all yours, check me out!”
The goalie’s favorite dance? The crease lightning.
Why did the ice hockey player go to heaven? Because he made the perfect angel … on the ice!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalties? A sin-sational player.
The team’s new strategy? Putting all their ducks in a row… on ice.
What do you call a hockey player that has a bad aim? A puck miss!
Why is dating a hockey player hard? You never know when they will whip out their stick!
Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other side of the ice!
The referee’s favorite food? Whistle-stop pizza.
The team’s new strategy? Skating on the edge of glory.
Why are hockey games like sandwiches? They’re better when they slap together!
Why don’t vampires play hockey? They’re afraid of the crosses!
What’s a cliche for a cold, tough hockey player? Chill old as ice!
The team’s new strategy? Playing it cool under pressure.
The team’s new motto: “Keep your friends close and your opponents on ice!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always changing his mind? A flip-flopper.
Hockey: where your job is to stick it to them!
The coach’s favorite dessert? Iced buns.
The team’s new strategy? Freezing out the competition.
What’s the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match? In a hockey game, the fights are actually part of the show!
Why did the hockey player bring a compass to the game? To find his way to the goal!
Hockey players don’t need tattoos. They wear their passion on their sleeves!
What do you call a hockey player with a great sense of rhythm? A puck-et drummer.
Why did the ice hockey player go to jail? Because he was guilty of high-sticking!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a fashion designer? A puck-tacular dresser!
Why did the pie go to the ice hockey game? Because it wanted to be a puck!
Why are hockey players like bakers? They both need loaves to score!

Best Puns Related To Ice Hockey

What’s a ghost’s favorite hockey position? The ghoulie!
The team’s motto: “Stick it to ’em!”
The goalie’s favorite snack? Shutout-cakes.
The team’s new slogan: “Ice to meet you!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always stealing the puck? A stick-y fingers.
Why did the hockey player bring a protractor to the game? To measure his angles on the ice!
Why’s the hockey game a great place for a date? Because every second counts!
The goalie’s favorite movie? “Net-flix and Chill.”
Why are hockey skates like historians? They both dig up the ice!
Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to play in the upper leagues!
The zamboni driver’s favorite movie? “Smooth Criminal.”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A puck-rastinator!
Why did the hockey player go to the beach? They were looking for a good puck-up line!
The team’s new motto: “Giving ’em the cold shoulder!”
Why are hockey players like public speakers? They both need a hook to keep the crowd engaged!
The team’s new motto: “Let’s break the ice… and maybe a few records!”
What do you call a hockey player with a cold? A snot rocket!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always scoring? A net profit.
The team’s new strategy? Putting their opponents on ice.
Why are bad ice hockey teams like old trousers? They both have lousy checkers!
How do puck and a cupcake differ? One gets frosted after the game, the other during!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a gardener? A puck-tastic green thumb!
The coach’s favorite weather? When it’s brewing a perfect storm.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always diving? A ice-olympic swimmer.
How is an ice hockey player like a woman in labor? They both need to breathe, push, and get it over with!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a mathematician? A puck-ulator!
Did you hear about the hockey player that leaves his heart on the field? He literally puts all his organs on ice!
Hockey players’ motto: “Keep your friends close and your enemies in the penalty box!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always falling? A slip-and-slide champion.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always doing splits? A flexible defender.
Why can’t Picasso be a good hockey player? Because every time he gets the puck, he tries to paint with it!
How do you know a cool hockey player? He gets more time in the freezer!
Why is ice hockey is like a rock concert? There are a lot of hits, and you never want the show to end!
One liner for a hockey romance: “Whistle at me and I’m yours!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always tripping? A fall star.
The team’s mascot is really living on thin ice these days.
What’s an ice hockey player’s favourite exercise? The puck-ups!
Why did the hockey player go to the library? They were looking for a good puck-book!
What do you call a defensive hockey ogre? A block-ness monster!
Why did the hockey player bring a GPS to the game? To re-route the opposition!
Ice Hockey: the only job where losing teeth is seen as a promotion!
Why did the hockey player bring a thermometer to the game? To measure his cold streaks!
Why do hockey players avoid playing cards with cats? They’re afraid of getting scratched!
The coach’s favorite card game? Ice poker.
Why did the hockey player bring a thermometer to the game? To check if he was running a fever pitch!
You know you’re a true ice hockey player when your idea of fine dining is not getting a tooth knocked out at dinner.
Why’d the dentist become a hockey coach? He knows the drill!
Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game? To inspect the fine lines of his strategy!
Why are Pharaohs bad at hockey? They try pyramid defense!
Why did the hockey player stand behind the clock? He wanted to get in some extra seconds!

Hockey can be a shocking sport. Especially when you get a charge penalty.
Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game? To see the stars on ice!
Hockey: where the players earn their stripes and lose their teeth!
Why are most hockey players gardeners at heart? Because they always root for more!
Why did the hockey puck break up with its partner? It was tired of being on ice!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite shoe brand? Puckamas!
Why did the hockey player bring a microscope to the game? To examine his micro-plays!
The referee’s favorite drink? Penalty shot.
What do you call a fish who plays hockey? A puck-erel!
What do ice hockey players and magicians have in common? They both do hat tricks!
The zamboni driver’s favorite pickup line? “Baby, I’ll smooth things over for you.”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always making assists? A stick-y situation solver.
What’s ice hockey’s unofficial bird “The ducking bird” – ’cause there’s always someone ducking a puck!
Why did the sandwich become a hockey fan? It admired the big buns!
Why did the hockey player bring a thesaurus to the game? To find synonyms for ‘victory’!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a comedian? A puck-ing hilarious guy!
What do you call a leisurely game of hockey? A slow poke-check!
Why did the hockey player go to the dentist? They had a tooth-and-nail fight on the ice!
The referee’s favorite board game? Sorry!
The zamboni driver’s favorite hobby? Smoothie making.
Why did the hockey player go to the library? They were looking for a good book-check!

Final Words:

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Chetan Kumar

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Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.