200 Funny Holidays Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Discover the best holiday puns that’ll sleigh your holiday season with laughter. Get ready for a jolly good time!

At this festive time of year, it’s the joy of holiday puns that brings laughter. Be it wrapping presents, setting the table or simply relaxing under mistletoe, there’s never been a better opportunity to add humor with puns! Our collection offers jokes sure to tickle ribs as well as snappy one-liners perfect for that holiday card – the ideal solution to spice up this festive season and spread some holiday spirit among family and friends! So get out your humorous lines for maximum holiday joy this holiday season – let out some joyous puns this holiday!

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Funny Holidays Puns

Holidays Puns
  • Why did the math teacher love Easter so much? Because all those egg-citing fractions!
  • Why did Rudolph get into trouble at school? Because his name went down in history.
  • Kwanzaa should more appropriately be called KwanzALOT? Am I correct in saying so?
  • Thanksgiving – the harvest festival where our plants give us our bird!
  • Why did the Christmas cookie visit a doctor? Because it felt a bit “crumbly.”
  • Easter Bunny to Chicken: “Your job is easy – all day you just “lay around”.”
  • An “abdominal” snowman.
  • Why was the ghost always alone on Valentine’s Day? Because he couldn’t find his “ghoul-friend”.
  • Why can’t turkeys enjoy their holidays as much as we do? Nothing compares with all that tasty stuffing on Christmas!
  • On New Year’s, why did bubbly champagne sue its glass container, alleging that it had been altered intentionally!? Essentially it claimed it had been falsified!
  • Why was a math book upset on Pi Day? Because of all its issues.
  • What type of exercise does a chocolate bunny enjoy doing? Egg-cersize!
  • What will the Easter Bunny sing on his birthday? Happiest of Birthdays to me!
  • What do snowmen enjoy eating for breakfast? Iced Krispies.
  • Halloween can be frightening because you wish for more candy.
  • Why doesn’t anyone invite the Christmas stocking to holiday parties? It always gets filled too early!
  • Have you heard the tale about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn on Christmas Eve and ended up sporting mittens as part of its wardrobe?
  • Why didn’t the teddy bear finish his Christmas dessert? Because he had already become “stuffed”.
  • Where does Valentine’s Day fit after Easter? Right in the dictionary!
  • Why don’t turkeys enjoy Thanksgiving? After all, they would rather fill themselves up with tasty dishes than be the focus of attention!
  • Why did he cross the road on St. Patrick’s Day? Simply because he wanted to reach the pot of gold more quickly!
  • Why did mother nature break off with Father Time? He ran too fast!
  • Why don’t New Year’s resolutions ever hold through to college? Because most don’t even make it past the first semester!
  • My understanding was that Good Friday is when they distribute all of the tasty fries.
  • Hanukkah’s amazing: who would’ve thought eight days worth of latke-flipping could pass by so quickly!?
  • Valentine’s Day can be the most baffling holiday. From being head over heels in love, to finding yourself single yet again! This holiday presents itself in so many unexpected ways! One moment you may find yourself head-over-heels for one person while moments later being heart broken over another one!
  • Arbor Day: Celebrated annually to recognize family trees!
  • Why did the ghost go to a Christmas party? In order to feel festive!
  • What do colors do on Thanksgiving day? They enjoy their feast!
  • My Valentine was thrilled when she saw what a wonderful surprise it was! You should’ve seen her face light up when she opened it!
  • Why can’t Christmas trees sew clothing themselves? Because their needles always end up dropping!
  • How do witches navigate at Christmas time? With “broomstick”!
  • Why does the Easter Bunny seem so smart? He or she is clearly an egg-head!
  • Why can Christmas trees not knit well? They keep dropping stitches.
  • My fireworks had other ideas! Although, as much as I wanted a spectacular New Year’s start, mine didn’t quite live up to that promise!

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Funny Holidays Puns And Jokes

  • What holiday is Dracula most fond of celebrating? Fangs-giving!
  • What do you call a knight who does not celebrate Christmas? Sir Vent.
  • Why did the turkey break off relations with its partner on Thanksgiving? Because he/she was fed up of constantly feeling “full”.
  • What do turkeys prefer as Thanksgiving side dishes? A “gobble-let” of wine.
  • Sorry – but no need for romantic jokes on Valentine’s Day! I can’t stand those with sad endings!
  • Why did the computer remove its glasses on New Year’s Eve? Because it needed to process 20/20’s ‘hazy’ lines!
  • Student: Why don’t I get Thanksgiving vacation from schoolwork?” Teacher: You certainly can! However, just not from homework!
  • What Christmas carol does Mom like best? “Silent Night”.
  • What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
  • Santa’s helpers often take Santa’s elves for “elf napping”.
  • How does the Easter Bunny keep his figure? By performing “bunny hops”.
  • Every Christmas I think that my body resembles that of a Christmas tree: with every drink taken and light added I become brighter!
  • How should New Year resolutions greet each other? With a toast to good health!
  • Thanksgiving: the time when we express gratitude for all we are grateful for before indulging ourselves by feasting like turkeys!
  • Why did the turkey join the band? Because he had drumsticks!
  • Have you heard the Easter resolution made by an egg this year? It decided to come out from behind its shell!
  • What term refers to those who fear Santa Clause? Claustrophobic!
  • What connects Halloween and coffee breaks? Both involve beverages!
  • Why did Mrs. Claus insist on going on a diet prior to Christmas? According to her explanation, any extra ‘Santa-mentary’ fat could only add extra stress for her!
  • On New Year’s Eve, my tradition is to tease the Times Square ball: “You always do! Don’t you dare drop!.”
  • Why didn’t the turkey receive dessert on Thanksgiving? Because he was already full!
  • Why did the ornament attend school? Because he wanted to become more informed!
  • Stuffing a turkey on Thanksgiving, but when one attempts to stuff you on Halloween!
  • What do ghosts eat for Christmas dinner? “Ghoul”ash!
  • Why don’t Easter eggs venture to the jungle? Because they don’t show much enthusiasm about exploring it!
  • What did the candle say to the Christmas tree? “You light up my life”.
  • Why did the Christmas tree seek counseling? Because it could not ‘fir-get’ of its past!
  • Why has the chicken joined this Easter’s band of musicians? Because its eggs-act timing!
  • Why did the belt get put in time-out on Father’s Day? Simply because it could no longer control its emotions!
  • What did the snowman tell his son? “Nothing could make my love more undying”.
  • Who was known as Dracula’s best friend or “ghoul-friend?” His true companion.
  • Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter Egg a joke? Because they may laugh!
  • What was St. Nicholas’ favorite measure in the metric system? His favorite measurement would have to be Santameter.
  • Why did the gingerbread house collapse on Christmas? Under cookie pressure!
  • Santa’s go-to potato chip flavor? Jingle Pringles!

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Funny Holidays Puns And One-Liners

  • My New Year’s Resolution was to read more, so I placed subtitles on my TV screen for all movies that required reading.
  • What style would best fit Christmas tree hair? Pine-up.
  • Why did Valentine’s Day receive a parking ticket? Because its heart was left behind in an area which prohibited parking.
  • Why doesn’t Secret Santa gifts follow a diet plan? They prefer being “present-ly plump”.
  • Why does Halloween reign supreme for beans? Because that’s when they can really express themselves!
  • Why did a cookie cry on Mother’s Day? Because its mom was too long!
  • Why was the Christmas tree so happy and excited about Christmas? Simply because it wanted it so badly! It had been pining away for it since November!
  • Ever wonder why Cupid never gets promoted? Maybe because he keeps falling head over heels in love with his job!
  • Why can Christmas trees not knit well? Their needles keep falling off!
  • Why does Valentine’s Day attract calculators so much? Because they love crunching numbers!
  • Why did the Christmas bulb seem downbeat? Because its mood was quite bright!
  • Why can’t Easter eggs go public? They like to create an “egg-citing” surprise!
  • What do you call Santa if he accidentally falls down a fireplace? Krisp Kringle!
  • Why can’t Christmas trees make good knitters? Because they keep dropping their needles!
  • Who needs New Year when my resolution is to celebrate every day?!
  • How can sheep wish each other Merry Christmas? Swipe Navidad!
  • Why was my Christmas present bad at playing football? Because it got “wrapped up in” it!
  • Why does Independence Day stand out as being so honest and open? Because everyone tends to act more honestly on that particular holiday!
  • What would a pumpkin choose as their New Year’s resolution? Achieve health and happiness!
  • Santa’s diet plan? Avoiding Claus-tarch!
  • What was Pumpkin’s New Year’s resolution? To finally gain muscle!
  • Why did the Christmas ornament attend school? So that it could gain more knowledge on trees!
  • “I always found it peculiar why Santa always seemed happy; then it dawned on me: He knows where all the bad girls live!”
  • Why have we made St. Patrick’s Day into an opportunity for gardening? Because going “green” makes good economic sense!
  • What did Valentine’s Day bring for beachgoers and the ocean alike? Nothing! All it did was wave its greeting!
  • What do ghosts do on the day after Halloween? They begin their Christmas boo-pping!
  • How can you adorn your Christmas tree for Christmas? By spraying “spruce”!
  • Why can’t they produce Valentine’s Day cards filled with chocolate instead? Everyone already knows you adore it!
  • How does Santa keep fit over the holidays? He practices “elf”-ercises!
  • What would you call a T-Rex who wrapped your Christmas presents? Dino-wrap-her.
  • Why was Cupid chosen as the symbol for Valentine’s Day? Because his aim was always accurate. And even after being accused of breaking hearts he got away scot-free!
  • Why did Santa attend music school? He wanted to perfect his “wrap” music.
  • Why was that turkey so proud at Thanksgiving dinner? Because he or she was overstuffed!
  • What happens if you combine an Easter Bunny and an iconic British clock? A “hoppit” past two!
  • How is the Christmas alphabet different than regular alphabet? EL is absent.

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Best Puns About Holidays

  • Why did Santa become a gardener? He enjoyed “ho ho ho!”
  • Why do carrots love Easter? Because they enjoy taking part in the hunt!
  • Why did the Easter egg run away? Because its contents had become disorganised!
  • Where do Easter eggs go when they dance? In an egg-ball.
  • Why did the Easter egg file a police report? Because he/she got “beaten”.
  • What did the ornament say to its companion ornament? “I enjoy hanging with you”.
  • On New Year’s Eve, our calendar hosted its official office party…now its days have become “numbered!”
  • With 2023 on its way, resolutions may soon become broken promises! I can almost smell that sense of change!
  • Why did the pumpkin never take an summer vacation? Because he knew it couldn’t handle all that “squash”.
  • Why did the Valentine’s Day card contain broken hearts? Because it was saying: ‘It isn’t you, it’s me”.
  • Why do people seem so surprised when Santa comes down the chimney? Surely he knows exactly what his duties entail!
  • Why did the sun go on vacation? Simply to soak up some sunbeams!
  • Why was Santa’s helper feeling demoralised? He suffered from low ‘elf self-esteem!
  • Since my New Year’s Resolution involves reading more books, I added subtitles to my television screen as part of New Year’s celebration!
  • What keeps the Easter Bunny healthy? Eggercise!
  • Why did my calendar break off with its partner? It seems to have ‘numbered’ itself!
  • On Christmas, Santa attended music school because he wanted to improve his ‘wrap!
  • On St. Patrick’s Day, I told my friends the secret ingredient for my green beer was leprechauns – they didn’t believe me but couldn’t resist trying just for their pote-o’-gold!
  • Why did the Easter egg disappear? Because it was actually an adorable miniature “chicken!”
  • Why was Thanksgiving separated from Halloween? Because they got tired of being gobbled!
  • What’s Thanksgiving good for? Baste!
  • Valentine’s Day marks an auspicious event of romance – it’s one of those rare times when giving someone something such as chocolates may still endear them to us!
  • What holiday is their favourite? Ghost New Year’s Eve!
  • Rudolph sports his iconic red nose as evidence of heavy consumption of eggnog.
  • Why was a belt arrested on Boxing Day? Because it was holding up some pants!
  • What holiday is Bonemas!?
  • Why do chocolates dislike Valentine’s Day so much? Because it represents bittersweet celebration!
  • Valentine’s Day candy is such a deliciously fun tradition!
  • Why would Santa make such an ineffective DJ? Because he’s constantly rapping!
  • Appears the Easter Bunny was upbeat this morning! Perhaps he enjoyed an egg-spresso?
  • What do we call St. Patrick’s Day worms? “Sham-rocks”.
  • New Year’s Eve may be when we make resolutions; New Year’s Day marks when we try and break them!
  • Who does not believe in Father Christmas are known as rebels without Claus!
  • Rudolf began offering cleaning services after Christmas so as to ‘clean off’ his chimney-suit!
  • What do we call Father Christmas at the beach? Sandy Claus.

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Best Happy Holidays Puns

  • Why did the monster call his vacation “holiday mon-star after Halloween”? Because it was both amazing and terrifying!
  • Why did the Christmas tree visit a barber for its annual trim? Because it required it.
  • What yoga pose do snowmen love the most? Frosty the lotus.
  • Why was my Christmas Tree Disturbed? She suffered from “Tinselitis”.
  • Why was my computer cold at Father’s Day barbecue? Because its windows had been left wide open!
  • On Christmas morning, an envelope was addressed to a gift box which read, “Don’t be so full of yourself!”
  • Why has the Christmas wreath become such an icon of celebration? Because it adds such festive spirit! It really helped set off any event!
  • What was the calendar telling them in 2017? “My days are limited.”
  • What did St. Patrick’s Day tell the four leaf clover on St. Patrick’s Day? “You have no sense of fair play!”
  • What genre is the Easter Bunny’s go-to choice when it comes to music? Hip hop!
  • What do you call a cat that hangs out on the beach on Christmas Eve? Sandy Claws!
  • Have you heard the tale about the man who stole an Advent Calendar and got 25 days?
  • Why does Santa always seem broke after Christmas? He keeps giving away all his “cents!”
  • Why did the turkey join a band? Because of its drumsticks!
  • How do Thanksgiving turkeys fight? They go after their target–the gobble-let!
  • Hold onto your hats; Halloween winds don’t blow easily!” said the Halloween wind to a tree on Halloween Night.
  • Why did the ornament go to school? In order to become smarter!
  • Why did the Grinch struggle so badly at playing cards? He continually tried to “steal the deck”.
  • Why did the math book feel frustrated on New Year’s Eve? Because there were too many problems it needed to solve before midnight!
  • Where do Halloween bats prefer to settle during their Halloween visits? In their respective “screech”.
  • Egg Hunt on Easter Morning: “Why does she always manage to find ways of “cracking” the jokes?”
  • Why are Christmas trees poor knitters? Because they always “lose their needles”.
  • What type of yoga does a snowman prefer? “Chill-dasana!”
  • Why don’t turkeys celebrate Thanksgiving during the summer months? Because they prefer it “cool and basted”.
  • What holiday is beloved to cornstalks? Husk-giving!
  • Why do Christmas trees love knitting so much? Because they excel at purling!
  • What should one call their visit to a bread factory as an excursion? A “yeasty” good time!
  • What did the rabbit say to the carrot this Easter? “You look truly ‘appetizing!
  • Independence Day… also known as, “Let’s set off explosives until we feel patriotic!”
  • Why did the egg hide during Easter? Because it was actually a miniature “chicken!”
  • “New Year Resolutions: because what better time than now to set yourself unrealistic expectations in life?
  • Valentine’s Day has long been recognized as an opportunity for battery packs to enjoy positive recharge opportunities! Batteries love spending their batteries recharged on this special holiday!
  • I used to work at a calendar factory, but was recently fired because of taking time off for personal matters.
  • Aren’t we strange that in order to show our thanks for Thanksgiving we stuff turkeys with breadcrumbs?
  • Why can’t Christmas trees do better at sewing? They always lose their needles!

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Best Jokes About Holidays

  • What happens if you cross a snowman and vampire together? Frostbite!
  • What do you call underwater carolers singing carols on Christmas? Christmas coral!
  • Who gives baby sharks their Christmas presents? Santa Jaws!
  • Why was a Christmas tree kicked out of its forest home? Because it had an overwhelming desire for ornaments!
  • What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmas season? “Sandy-Claws!”
  • Why did the Valentine’s Day card go to jail? Because it was caught ‘picking up lines!
  • How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh at Christmas Town? Nothing! He gets free parking!
  • Thanksgiving turkey: Why am I constantly being teased about my weight?
  • Santa has his elf-defense attorney ready for him when things turn wrong!
  • Why did the ghost enjoy Halloween so much? Because it gave him an excuse to let loose and celebrate! It gave them their one chance each year to get down-and-dirty!
  • I told Santa that you had been very good all year, and he cracked up laughing!
  • How does a Halloween ghost keep their clothing wrinkle-free? With StaRCH!
  • I wanted to dress as a ghost this Halloween but found it too scary!
  • What results from crossing a snowman and dog together? Frostbite.
  • Easter eggs can be hilarious! Their irreverence and laughter-inducing properties never fail to make us laugh out loud!
  • On Thanksgiving, what can one say to a turkey? “Nice to meet you!”
  • Why didn’t the Hanukkah dreidel attend school? Because it didn’t want to become an “outcast.”
  • Where Do New Year’s Resolutions Go for Vacation? Through One Ear and Out the Other Bay!
  • What term describes an impostor snowman that tells tall tales? “Snow-fakes”.
  • Why was the candy cane so costly? Because of its mint condition!
  • What do we call the fear of getting stuck in a chimney? Santa Claustrophobia.
  • Did you hear about the New Year’s Resolution made by cereal boxes to become more “flakesible”!?
  • How does a snowman travel to work? Via an icicle.
  • Every Christmas, my family watches “The Nutcracker.” It is always an eye-opener!
  • My obsession is reading about the history of glue; it just won’t let go!

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Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.

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