150 Funny Christmas Puns, Jokes, And One-Liners

Discover the best hilarious Christmas puns to make your holidays merrier. Find funny one-liners and jokes to spread the cheer.

Welcome to a world of Christmas puns; your festive season won’t be the same after sharing these joy-inducing jests. Christmas is an occasion steeped in traditions: trees, gifts, food (inevitably overcooked sprouts!), one-liners and jokes… but why stop there? Let’s raise laughter to new levels this year by engaging our funny Christmas lines that sleigh and festive puns that tickle. We have revisited and revised traditional gags found in crackers to bring happiness at every Christmas event… come explore and spread joy together!

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Funny Christmas Puns

Christmas Puns
  • What do you call a cat who spends Christmas at the beach? Sandy Claus!
  • What do you call a snowman with six packs? An abdominal snowman!
  • Who brings gifts for baby sharks? Santa Jaws!
  • Why invite a snowman to our Christmas party? Simply for fun!
  • How can one acquire Christmas dubstep music? Simply “wrap” it!
  • What do you call Santa if he accidentally falls into a fire? Krisp Kringle!
  • Do you think Santa would still be as cheerful if he were on a diet?
  • Why did Santa’s helper visit a doctor? Because of low self-esteem!
  • What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? An “elf” alphabet!
  • Why was that snowman looking through carrots? He was picking his nose!
  • What did the tiny candle tell its Christmas tree? “I’m leaving tonight.”
  • Where does Santa keep his backup suits? In Claus-et!
  • Know how Santa manages to descend the chimney? By employing his Santa-mental value of gravity!
  • Why was that snowman sorting through carrots? He was picking his nose!
  • Why did Rudolph hire an agent? He had become tired of playing the “laughing stock”.
  • What would we call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost Claus!
  • What do Santa’s helpers call themselves? Subordinate Clauses!
  • What do you call a reindeer that plays piano? “Elton” Deer!
  • What was St. Nicholas’ favorite measurement when baking? Self-rising flour!
  • Did they invite the turkey? No; instead it had already been “stuffed”.
  • What do we call Santa when he stops for a break? Santa “Pause”.
  • Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer? Would he become hoarse as a result of having sore throat?
  • What do you call Santa if he accidentally falls down into a fireplace? Crisp Kringle.
  • Did the ornament get to school? Nope – it was already in your possession as an adorable “bauble!”
  • How do Christmas angels greet each other? By saying: Greetings.

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Funny Christmas Puns And Jokes

  • Where does Santa go when he gets sick? He goes directly to an Elf-Care center!
  • Have you heard about the Christmas bulb that caused havoc this holiday season? Well it did just that when it got lit!
  • How do reindeers stay fit? By doing “elf” aerobics!
  • What would you call a snowman with sunblock on his skin? A puddle!
  • Why did the ornament attend school? Because he or she wanted to gain more bauble-sense.
  • Where does Santa swim? At the North “Pole”.
  • How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing; it was free!
  • Why can Christmas trees not sew efficiently? They always manage to lose needles.
  • Why did Santa receive a ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh parked illegally!
  • What says ‘Oh No,”? Santa walking backwards.
  • I offered Santa decaf coffee as well, but he declined, explaining it would only serve as “grounds for dismissal!”
  • Santa is actually quite skilled at Judo; in fact he holds a black belt in Claus-tro.
  • What would you call a yeti with six packs? An Abdominal Snowman!
  • What do you call a snowman with six-pack abs? An abdominal snowman!
  • Why can’t Christmas trees go fishing? They just can’t tolerate all that bait-ing!
  • Have you heard the tale about the Christmas tree who could play guitar? It truly understood how to “pick”.
  • Why do Christmas trees make terrible knitters? They keep dropping their needles!
  • Are you familiar with the dyslexic devil worshipper that sold his soul to Santa? He sold it by writing out the contract.
  • What sets apart the Christmas alphabet from other alphabets is Noel!
  • What do you call a snowman who becomes an investigator? Frosty the Snooper!
  • Do you ever notice how Christmas resembles your job? While you do all of the hard work, someone else gets all of the credit!
  • Why do Christmas trees enjoy knitting so much? They have incredible purling skills!
  • What do we call a snowman with an explosive temper? A meltdown!
  • What do you call a reindeer who knows how to play guitar? “Elvis Pearsley.”
  • What distinguishes the Christmas alphabet from its regular equivalent? Noel appears as part of this Christmas alphabet.

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Funny Christmas Puns And One-Liners

  • Why didn’t the gingerbread man attend his Christmas Party? Because he felt horrible!
  • Santa’s beard used to be black, until old age took its toll! Now it is white in hue as his beard becomes thinner with age!
  • How do we know Santa was good at math in school? He was known as an “elf-a” student!
  • What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes? Comed-deer!
  • Why did the computer go to a doctor? Because it had an infection (virus) and felt “dell”-iously!
  • What would you call an elf who won the lottery? Congratulations Welfy!
  • Have you heard the tale about the elf who changed into a gardener and started producing “elf-alfa” sprouts as part of his Christmas gift to all his fellow elves?
  • Who wouldn’t enjoy Christmas dinner with its tasty turkey! Filled to capacity!
  • Why did Santa attend the musical? He wanted to catch a glimpse of Elvis Presley!
  • Krisp Cringle! That is the name given to an unfrozen Santa.
  • Why can’t Rudolph play hide and seek? Because he is always being found!
  • Who among Santa’s reindeers displays an antagonistic disposition? Rude-olph!
  • Why did the Christmas tree go back to school? In order to broaden his/her knowledge!
  • Why did Santa get a parking ticket last Christmas? He accidentally parked in an anti-sleighing zone!
  • What do you call an intimidating reindeer? A cari-BOO!
  • What signals an alarm bell for Christmas fans is when Santa walks backwards.
  • What would we refer to Frosty the Snowman as when seen outside in May? A puddle!
  • Why does Santa prefer coming down the chimney? Because soot disqualifies him.
  • What would you call a snowman with six packs? An abdominal snowman!
  • Why don’t secret Santa parties work well for dieters? Too much temptation in Claus-shaped cookies!
  • How can you tell that Christmas baking has been done using ovens created by Elves? By looking for signs that it was prepared using their help!
  • What happens when you combine a snowman and wolf together? Frostbite!
  • What term would describe Kriss Kringle when using his wife’s health insurance plan as his dependent Claus? A dependent Claus.
  • How does a snowman travel to work? By riding his “icicle”.
  • What does Santa do in his free time? He likes to ride around on his sleigh!

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Funny Puns About Christmas

  • Why was our Christmas tree taken to a barber? Because its ends had “fir”ocious split ends!
  • What kind of Christmas music do elves enjoy listening to? “Wrap” music.
  • What do you call a snowman in Summertime? A “puddle”.
  • What do Christmas trees and bad knitters share in common? Both regularly lose their needles!
  • What do we call a snowman throwing tantrums and tantrums? A meltdown!
  • How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? Claus-tarch!
  • Why did the Christmas cookie go to see its doctor? Because it felt awful!
  • Why don’t Christmas trees speak much? Because their roots run deep!
  • What happened to the turkey at Christmas? It got eaten!
  • What do you call a cat who hangs out at the beach during Christmas time? Sandy Claus!
  • Why would anyone invite a mushroom to their Christmas party? Simply because he or she is “fungi”.
  • Why do elves make good listeners? Because their ears are all open!
  • What do you call a reindeer selfie? An “elfie” with antlers!
  • What type of candy does Santa prefer most? “Claus-ted caramels.”
  • How can you know when Santa has come calling? Simply by sensing his “presents!”
  • What term best describes someone afraid of Santa? Claus-trophobic!
  • What are we to call a Christmas wreath constructed out of $100 bills? An attra-wreath!
  • What do reindeer say prior to telling their jokes? This amuses me!
  • Where can elves go when they get sick? To the elf-care center.
  • Whose Christmas parties are cool as an iceberg? Theirs!
  • What kind of car does an elf drive? A Toyota!
  • What kind of music would elves prefer? Wrap!
  • Rudolph the Reindeer got top grades because of how hard he “nosed” for it!
  • Why does Santa give such an abundance of presents each year? His visit only comes once!
  • What clothing brand does Santa prefer? North “Pole-o”!

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Witty Christmas Puns

  • Frosty the Snowman seems like such an ineffectual husband! Who could blame him when his partner turned out to be such an irresponsible party!?
  • What do you call an indebted Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
  • Which reindeer needs to practice good manners the most? Rudolph!
  • What do you call a reindeer who tells humorous jokes? A comet-dian!
  • What posts might elves post to social media? Elf-ies!
  • Why doesn’t Santa like sitting? Because sitting “Crisps up his suit!”
  • Why can’t Christmas trees fit on knitting needles? They always end up dropping their needles!
  • What do you call an Elf that knows how to dance? Elfis Presley!
  • What would you call a snowman with six-pack abs? An abdominal snowman!
  • How can a car be unfrozen from its frozen condition? A “jack frost”!
  • What do you call a Christmas tree that reminds people to place the ornaments? Spruce Willis.
  • What are you supposed to call a gingerbread man with one bitten leg? Limp-bizkit!
  • What do you call an elf who knows multiple instruments? A Christmas wrapper.
  • Find out why Santa enjoys gardening so much during Christmas? Because he gets himself an upgrade with an all new hoe (an “ho-hoe”).
  • Why were my parents so proud to present a cranberry sauce made out of gravy?
  • Why does Santa have the ideal job? Because he knows where all the bad girls reside!
  • What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
  • Why does Santa appear so neat? He likes to present himself well!
  • Why do Christmas lights never travel with students to class? Because they brighten everyone’s spirits!
  • What can sheep say for Merry Christmas? “Fleece” Navidad!
  • What do you call a Christmas duck? A “Christmas Quacker”.
  • Have you heard about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn containing Christmas gloves for herself? She certainly found an unexpected Christmas treat!
  • Which reindeer has poor manners? Rude-olph!
  • What’s a snowman with six-pack abs known as? An abdominal snowman!
  • What do they call Santa’s wife when she sings off-key? Missus Off-Key!

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Dirty Christmas Puns

  • Santa opted out of using his chimney this year because he suffers from Claustrophobia!
  • What room in his house does Jack Frost prefer most often? The chill room.
  • “Shelf on a Shelf” is an exciting Christmas game just released, which allows kids to put items onto shelves to complete each scene of “A Christmas Story.”
  • How many presents does Santa fit in his empty sack? Only one! After that it no longer counts as empty!
  • Why does Prancer keep getting wet? He is an “rain” deer!
  • What would you call a cat running around on a beach during Christmastime? Sandy Paws!
  • Who delivers presents for baby sharks at Christmas time? Santa Jaws!
  • Why do Christmas trees like to knit? They excel at purling!
  • What happens when you combine a snowman and vampire together? Frostbite!
  • How do reindeers fly? They use Elf-alfa Airlines!
  • What track and field event does Santa prefer the most? North “Pole” Vaulting!
  • Why didn’t anyone bid on Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Perhaps because they were two deer!
  • Are you curious as to Santa’s favorite pie? That would be Elfin-berry!
  • After Santa has delivered his gifts, he takes time out for himself to reflect.
  • Why did Christmas lights receive an A grade in school? Because they’re so bright!
  • What do you call an impolite reindeer? Rudeolph!
  • Why did the elf place his bed into the fireplace? In order to sleep like one!
  • What was Santa’s dog called? Santa Paws.
  • Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas? Because they are shellfish!
  • Why does Santa descend the chimney? Because it helps him breathe!
  • Which reindeer are Santa’s cleanest? Comet.
  • Why would Kris Kringle want to go down a chimney? Because it “relieves him of stress!”
  • Why does Santa have such amazing abs? Because he always carries around an immense sack full of presents!
  • Did you know the Christmas tree went to see a psychiatrist due to tinsel-itis?
  • Why do elves use star maps? To assist with wrapping presents!

Final Words

Before wrapping up our holiday-cheerful “Christmas Puns” blog, spread some festive humor by decking our halls with bowls of folly! Don’t forget that there’s no better place than our blog to find hilarious ‘Christmas Jokes’ and one-liners than right here on this blog! Don’t forget the spirit of Christmas isn’t solely defined by gifts under the tree but also laughter: our pun-derfully humorous gems hopefully brightened your season just like an illuminated tree does: stay tuned for even more laugh-along blogs that’ll keep spirits high while laughter loud – here’s to an extraordinary year ahead filled with great punny punny Christmas blogs to jingling all along this blog ride! Keep on!

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Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.