150 Funny Valentine’s Day Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Explore the funniest Valentine’s Day puns! Share cute puns that’ll make your Valentine’s Day memorable. Find them here.

Are you in search of something entertaining this Valentine’s Day? Look no further – our extensive library of Valentine’s Day puns, jokes, one-liners and funny lines will leave both of you laughing out loud in no time! Celebrate love’s celebration with some hilarious one-liners or funny lines to add laughter into the festivities and surprise your sweetheart at once with heartwarming humor from our collection of puns dedicated to this holiday of affection! Get set for an enjoyable celebration filled with smiles, affection, and giggles as we present the finest Valentine’s Day wordplay available!

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Funny Valentine’s Day Puns

Valentine's Day Puns
  • What did a French chef give to his partner on Valentine’s Day? A warm hug and “quiche”.
  • What fruit do vampires love best? A “necktarine!”
  • What did the Valentine’s Day card say in its envelope? “I am overwhelmed with your affection!”
  • What did one magnet tell another magnet? “I find you extremely attractive!”
  • What did the math book tell the calculator? “Count on me!”
  • Have you heard the one about the cheese who wanted a relationship? She wanted someone special just like herself…!
  • Have you heard the tale about the cheese that wanted a romantic encounter? Well, here it is! When romantic feelings began arising for its “brie”, she desperately desired being left alone with its special someone!
  • What did one grape say to another grape? “Quit whining and let’s have some fun!”
  • Why did the snowman need to call in a plumber? Because his carrot nose had burst!
  • What’s the key to a happy marriage? Keeping disagreements under control!
  • Why did the bicycle stand upright by itself? Because its two tires depended upon other sources for support!
  • What tool makes the ideal Valentine’s Day handyman? Something heart-rending.
  • Why did Valentine’s Day cake need therapy? Too many layers of emotion were attached!
  • What can you call two birds that have fallen in love? Tweethearts!
  • Why did the music teacher go to prison? She was caught possessing some sharp objects.
  • Have you heard about the love-struck pillow? It just couldn’t stop “cushioning” its feelings!
  • Why did the bicycle keep tipping over? Because it had grown weary from maintaining its position!
  • How can you plan a space party for your partner? Together you “planet”.
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A “gummy bear”, just like my love for you.
  • What do you get when you mix together a snowman and vampire? Frostbite!
  • Why did the bicycle keep falling over? Because it had grown tired of standing!
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A “gummy” bear – just like my affection for you!
  • What did the math book tell the calculator? They could count on me!
  • What letter are pirates most fond of using? Although you might expect it would be R, in actuality their favorite letter is C!
  • Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got stolen!
  • What fruit do vampires prefer? A “necktarine!”
  • Why did the computer go to therapy? Because its memory had too many “bytes” of emotional baggage!
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because of what was put on its salad!
  • What did one grape say to another grape? “Stop whining and let’s have some fun!”
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it spotted salad dressing!
  • Why did the math book look so sad? Due to too many issues.
  • Why was the bicycle capable of standing itself upright by itself? Because its two tires relied upon others!
  • What do you call a group of musical lovebirds singing together in harmony? A Tweetheart choir!
  • Have you heard the tale about the cheese that wanted a romantic encounter with its “brie”!?
  • How can you organize an unforgettable Valentine’s Day space party? Just “planet!” Together!

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Funny Valentine’s Day Puns And One-Liners

  • Why did the Valentine’s Day card blush when it saw my love letter inside it?
  • Why did the bicycle stand on its own? Because its two tires relied upon each other!
  • Why did the math book look sad? Because there were too many problems!
  • Why did the computer seek therapy? Because its memory was too full with emotional baggage!
  • What did the elephant say to its Valentine? “I love you so very much!”
  • What fruit do vampires favor? An orange, commonly known by its original name “blood orange”.
  • What did one pancake tell another pancake? ‘Butter be my Valentine!”
  • How did the Mummy Impress His Date? He brought Her to an Unwrapping Party!
  • Why did the tomato approach strawberry for help? Because he found himself in trouble!
  • What did the math book tell the calculator? “Don’t count me out!”
  • What did one wall tell the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
  • What do two birds in love become known as? Tweethearts!
  • How can a broken heart be healed? Certainly with love glue!
  • Why did Valentine’s Day cake require therapy? Because its multiple layers triggered too many strong emotional reactions!
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw salad dressing!
  • Are You Planning an Astro Party For Your Partner? “Planet” Together!
  • How did the phone propose to its charger? By giving her an engagement “ring”.
  • Why did the Valentine’s Day card blush when it saw my love note inside it?
  • What do you call a snowman with six-pack abs? An abdominal snowman!
  • Why did the scarecrow make an excellent partner? He excelled at what he did!
  • What fruit do vampires enjoy eating most? A “blood” orange!
  • What did the lightning say to the thunderstorm? “You are astonishing!”
  • Did you hear about the heart that broke apart? Unfortunately, they just couldn’t find their loving rhythm.
  • Do you know the secret ingredient to fixing broken tomatoes? Tomato paste!
  • Reason being, this scarecrow was excellent in his field!
  • How did the Mummy Impress His Date? By inviting Her to an “Unwrapping Party!”
  • What fruit do vampires favor? A blood orange!
  • Have you heard the tale of the love-stricken pillow? It just couldn’t stop “cushioning” its feelings!
  • Have you heard about the Valentine’s Day baker who used love as dough for his bread to rise? He spent four days spreading love so his dough could rise properly!
  • Why was my math book looking so dejected? Because there were too many issues.
  • What did the lightning tell the thunderstorm? “You are incredible!”
  • Why did the Valentine’s Day card end up at the doctor? Because it had an envelope-ope!
  • What fruit do vampires favor most often? A “necktarine”.
  • Why did the Valentine’s Day card submit its application for employment? Because it wanted to hone its pick-up lines!
  • What can two birds in love be called? Tweethearts!

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Funny Valentine’s Day Puns And Jokes

  • Why did a Valentine’s Day chocolate go into therapy? Because its layers were too many!
  • Why did a music teacher go to jail? After she was caught possessing several sharp objects!
  • Why did the grape separate from its raisin counterpart? Because both were too dried out!
  • What did the lightning say to the thunderstorm? “You are absolutely breathtaking!”
  • How can a couple maintain a fulfilling marriage? By keeping arguments at bay.
  • What letter do pirates love most of all? Although you might assume ‘R,’ their favorite letter is actually C!
  • Why did the tomato go to the strawberry for advice? Because he found himself in an urgent situation!
  • Why did the scarecrow make such an excellent partner? He excelled in his field!
  • Why was the math book so certain of itself? Because it contained all of its solutions!
  • Why did the tomato turn to the strawberry for advice? Because they were in trouble!
  • What was said between two magnets? “I find you very attractive!”
  • Why was that Valentine’s Day card blushing? Because it saw that there was love letter inside!
  • Why did the computer seek therapy? Because its memory was filled with too much emotional baggage!
  • What was a golfer’s gift to their partner on Valentine’s Day? An abundance of affection!
  • What did the golfer give to his partner on Valentine’s Day? A “hole” lot of love!
  • What can we call two birds who fall in love? Tweethearts!
  • Why was the math book so sure of itself? Because it had all of the solutions!
  • How did the Mummy Impress His Date? By inviting Her to an “Un-wrapping Party!”
  • What’s the key to an amazing Valentine’s Day dinner? Pasta-bilities!
  • What did the cucumber say to his Valentine? “You mean an incredible dill!”
  • What did one octopus tell the other octopus? “I want to hold your hand!”
  • At first sight, their hearts connected in love.
  • What did the teddy bear give its Valentine? A hearty bear-hug!
  • What happens when you combine a snowman and dog together? Frostbite!
  • What do you call a bear without any teeth? A “gummy” bear – just like my love for you!
  • What did the Valentine’s Day card tell its recipient on this Valentine’s Day? “I am wrapped up in your love!”
  • What did the elephant tell his Valentine? “I love you tons!”
  • What did a French chef give for Valentine’s Day? A hug and “quiche”.
  • What did one magnet tell the other magnet? “I find you very attractive!”
  • How can you plan a space party for your significant other? Make the world one giant celebration!
  • What did a French chef give for Valentine’s Day? A big hug and “quiche”.
  • What happens when you combine a snowman and vampire together? Frostbite!
  • Why was my bike constantly overturning? Perhaps because its tires had worn thin from standing upright!
  • Why did the bicycle flip during its date? Because its tires weren’t equipped to support itself!
  • Love is like fresh bread; when eaten at its prime it tastes the best!

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Best Puns About Valentine’s Day

  • What would you call a snowman with six packs? An abdominal snowman!
  • Why did the scarecrow become such an outstanding partner? He excelled in his field!
  • What fruit do vampires love to snack on? A “necktarine”.
  • Why did the snowman need a plumber? His carrot nose leaked!
  • How can you host an incredible Valentine’s Day space party? Simply “planet!” together!
  • What’s the key to a happy marriage? Keep arguments at bay!
  • What fruit do vampires favor? A “blood” orange.
  • Why did the bicycle dismount during its date? Because its tires could only support itself at one end!
  • Roses are red, violets are blue. I may not be great with rhymes but I will do my best for you!
  • Love should be like an excellent pencil: carefully sharpened for maximum effectiveness.
  • How did the phone propose to its charger? By giving her an engagement ring!
  • Why did the bicycle topple over during its date? Because it had two tired to stand!
  • What did one wall say to another wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
  • How can you host an unforgettable Valentine’s Day space party? Simply “planet!” together!
  • Why did the math book appear so disheveled? Due to too many issues.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he excelled at what he was doing!
  • Are you familiar with the romantic mathematician who knew all angles? He knew all there is to know!
  • What did Valentine’s Day card say in its envelope? : “I am filled with your love!”
  • How do you fix a damaged tomato? Tomato paste!
  • What did the elephant say to its Valentine? “I adore you infinitely!”
  • Why did the math book look so morose? Due to too many problems.
  • Why did the football team visit a bank? In search of their quarterback!
  • Why did Valentine’s Day cake require therapy? Because its layers were filled with emotion.
  • What happens when you mix together a snowman and dog? Frostbite!
  • What did one pancake tell another pancake? “Be My Valentine!”
  • Frostbite! That is what comes when combining snowmen and dogs together!
  • What fruit do vampires prefer? “Necktarines!”
  • How can one repair a cracked tomato? With tomato paste!
  • Why was a calendar so beloved? Because every date had an appearance!
  • “Your smile makes my heart race!” One Valentine’s Day card said this to another person.
  • What did one grape tell its friend grape? “Enough with your complaining; let’s have some fun!”
  • What fruit do vampires tend to love most? A blood orange.
  • Why did the football team go to a bank? In search of their quarterback!
  • How could the math book have such confidence? Because it had all of the solutions!
  • What do two birds who love each other called? Tweethearts!
  • Have you heard about the love-struck pillow? It just couldn’t stop “cushing” its feelings!
  • Why did my smartphone bring its date to Valentine’s Dance? Because they couldn’t resist swiping right!

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Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.

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