200+ Funny Golf Puns, Jokes and One-Liners

Are you searching for some funny golf puns? If yes then this post is just for you. Below we have some hilarious jokes, and puns onliners about golf.

Welcome, swing kings and queens! Tee-off your day with our rib-tickling golf puns that are sure to score a hole-in-one for your humor game! Our carefully curated content has a slew of imaginative wordplay crafted to leave you rolling on the fairway laughing. Ideal for every occasion, these golf puns have a universal appeal, making even the grumpiest golfer giggle. So get ready to improve your handicap in humor and discover a mini world of joy, laughter, and top-notch wit. From bogeys to birdies, our clever golf puns cover them all. Dive into this bucket of laughter now!

Most Funniest Golf Puns

Golf Cart Puns
  1. Why do golfers carry an extra pair of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
  2. I used to play golf, but found it’s just not my ‘tee’.
  3. Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green, and then end up in the hole.
  4. Some golfers are like bad magicians. They’re always pulling something out of their bag of tricks.
  5. Golfers are easily tempered. They always need to ‘iron’ things out.
  6. Why do golfers make bad skydivers? They always aim for the greens!
  7. Why is it hard to play golf with a lion? Too much of a ‘roar’ hazard!
  8. In golf, the less strokes, the better. Dating, not so much.
  9. Why are golf balls like eggs? They’re white, sold by the dozen, and a week later, you have to buy more.
  10. If your opponent seems relaxed on the golf course, it’s probably because he’s ‘sinking’ into the green.
  11. My doctor recommended golf for my health. My scores have never been sicker!
  12. What’s a golfer’s favorite piece of music? “The Green, Green Grass of Home”.
  13. Why did the baker join the golf club? He kneaded the dough!
  14. A golfer’s diet? “Stay on course”!
  15. How do golfers stay cool? They have a lot of ‘fans’!
Golf Puns
  1. They say the grass is always greener on the other side. That’s because golfers water it!
  2. Playing golf is like going to a strip club. You’re excited at first but leave disappointed and $200 poorer.
  3. What’s the problem with playing golf in the Jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  4. What’s the golfer’s favorite unit of measurement? The yard!
  5. “FORE!” – shouted every golfer before their marriage hit the bunkers.
  6. I always put some swing into my golf strikes, just like jazz musicians. It’s all about those ‘blues’ notes!
  7. Behind every successful golfer, there’s a ball willing to take the hit!
  8. Golf is deceptive. It’s not as easy as hitting a small ball into a big hole.
  9. I played golf with my dentist and he flossed the fairway.
  10. Want to know a golfer’s favorite dance? The ‘Putt-ty’ dance!
  11. Golfers always keep their promises – they’re men of their ‘greens’.
  12. I’m just a simple golfer, always aiming for the greens but constantly landing in the ‘rough’.
  13. Golfers do well in school. They always take a swing at extra ‘course’ work.
  14. I’ve perfected my golf swing. I call it the ‘tee-rex’!
  15. My history homework helps my golf game. I’m good at dates, just not with holes!
  16. Golfers practice their swings. I practice my ‘misses’!
  17. The rougher my day, the ‘fairway’ I wanna drive!
  18. I changed my golf teacher three times. Finally found one who teaches me how to find lost balls!
  19. What’s the secret to a good golf game? Good lies!
  20. Golfers are like gardeners, they’re always trying to find the root of the problem.
  21. Golfers don’t get old, their swing just gets rusty.
  22. Don’t trust atoms on the golf course, they make up everything!
  23. Golf is the perfect Sunday activity. It’s a ‘hole’ day event.
  24. I’m ‘putting’ a lot of effort into my golf game.
  25. When it comes to golf, it’s always a ‘stroke’ of genius or a ‘stroke’ of bad luck!
  26. Golfers always land their jokes…. right on the green!
  27. I never let my kids play golf. It’s a ‘hole’ lot of responsibility!
  28. Why did the golfer bring string along? Just in case he got tied for first place!
  29. How can you tell when a golfer is happy? When everything’s up to ‘par’!
  30. What does a golfer and a skydiver have in common? They both need balls to drop!
  31. The secret to a great golf swing? Not having an audience.
  32. A golfer’s life is just a bunch of ‘swings’ and misses.
  33. Why do golfers never go to heaven? They always opt for the ‘under-par’!
  34. Love is like golf. It’s all about the follow through.
  35. What’s the golfer’s favorite exercise? Driving!
  36. To golf properly, you need the right ‘course’ of action.
  37. I can’t afford to play golf. It’s a rich man’s loan!
  38. Why do golfers always carry pencils? To draw the line!
  39. Golf swings are like martini. It’s all about ‘shot’ precision!
  40. Golf: A game where you yell ‘fore’, shoot six and write down five.
  41. How do golfers stay in shape? By doing ‘putt’ ups!
  42. Why do golfers hate cakes? Because they can never slice it right.
  43. What’s a golfer’s favorite bird? The ‘Swing’!
Golf Puns
  1. Golf is like a love relationship. It’s either a hit or miss …mostly misses!
  2. Why is golf just like a pancake breakfast? It’s all about the butter and the roll.
  3. What do you call a golfer who doesn’t workout? Someone who needs more iron in their life!
  4. I used to date a female golfer. She was quite a ‘hit’!
  5. Could you ‘putt’ a little sunshine into my day?
  6. All work and no ‘play-thru’, makes Jack a dull golfer!
  7. What’s the difference between a golfer and a parachutist? A golfer goes: Whack, “Damn!” A parachutist goes: “Damn!” Whack.
  8. What’s a golfer’s favorite morning drink? A ‘tee’!
  9. Golfers always end up in the rough. Why can’t they just stay on the ‘tee-path’?
  10. A golfer’s career can be summed up in ‘tee’ words – ‘drive’, ‘swing’ and ‘miss’.
  11. Golf is a sport of precision. It’s all about how well you can ‘lie’.
  12. Why do golfers hate the rain? Because it’s a real ‘downpour’ on their parade.
  13. Always carry extra socks on the course. In case you have a ‘foot-fault’!
  14. I’ve been banned from the golf course. I apparently have a bad ‘drive’!
  15. Always practice moderation in golf – especially when it comes to sand ‘wedges’!
  16. Golf and the dictionary share one thing in common. They’re both about finding the ‘right swing’ in words and actions.
  17. Why was the golf club a great dancer? Because it had all the right moves and ‘swings’!
  18. Best thing about golf? Having someone else carry your ‘bags’!
  19. A golfer never has a bad day. It’s all a ‘play’ of perspectives!
  20. Golfers are the real ‘risk-takers’. They always ‘putt’ everything at stake!
  21. Never argue with a golfer. He’s used to saying ‘fore sure’!
  22. Why do golfers fancy astronomy? They love ‘hole’ systems!
  23. How does a golfer apologize? He takes a ‘mulligan’!
  24. Keen observation and a steady hand are golf essentials. They can ‘tee’ you up for success!
  25. Golf is like art. It’s about ‘drawing’ the right trajectory!
  26. Never try to understand golf. It’s a ‘hole’ different story!
  27. Golfers are philosophers. They always ‘putt’ things in perspective!
  28. Why is golf a quiet sport? Everyone ‘tees’ in silence!
  29. Golfers have a weird taste. They love their drinks ‘on the green’.
  30. What does a golfer do when he’s not feeling ‘par’? He ‘putts’ up a brave face!
  31. Golfing can be classic science – it’s about ‘putting’ theories to the test!
  32. Golfers love the Fall. They finally get the ‘leaves’ handicap!
  33. I don’t trust golfers! They’re notorious ‘hookers’.
  34. What’s the golfer’s biggest dilemma? To ‘putt’ or not to ‘putt’!
  35. Why don’t vampires play golf? They don’t like the stakes.
Golf Puns
  1. Why are golfers great detectives? They’re always looking for ‘clues’ on the green!
  2. Why golf is like marriage? You’re always trying to ‘get on the green’!
  3. They say golf is just teed off bowling. It’s all about the ‘swing’!
  4. Why are golfers excellent musicians? They always ‘score’ highest!
  5. How does a golfer stay clean? By getting a ‘birdie’ bath!
  6. Golfers and stand-up comedians share one thing; only a select few make it to the ‘greens’.
  7. Golf is a unique sport. In any other game, being in the “hole” is a bad thing!

Best Puns About Golf Sport

  1. If golfers had a favorite type of pants, they’d be hole-y jeans.
  2. A golfer’s diet? Greens, of course.
  3. Why do golfers always carry two pants? Just in case they get a hole in one.
  4. I tried to play golf, but was always under par. Guess I’m not up to “par” with the competition!
  5. When the golfer lost his ball, he felt a sense of “fore-lorn”.
  6. A snowman’s favorite golfing technique? A cold swing.
  7. If you want to watch a golfer, should you use binoculars or a hole-scope?
  8. Golf and relationships are similar. Can’t stand too many clubs and definitely can’t lose balls!
  9. Golf is a game where the slowest people in the world are those in front of you and the fastest are behind.
  10. Never date a golfer. They always bring their own “bag-gage”.
  11. What do golf and romance have in common? It’s all in the follow-through.
  12. I got a job at a mini golf course, they said I had a real knack for small talk.
  13. The golfer’s favorite card game? Go (golf) Fish.
  14. You know you’re addicted when you putt out your coffee in the morning.
  15. What’s a golfer’s favorite cuisine? Tee-Thai.
Golf Puns
  1. Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later, you have to buy more.
  2. Vegan golfers refuse to play in the rough because they don’t mess with the greens.
  3. I knew a golfer who was also a skydiver. He could really drop the ball from any height!
  4. Golf is the perfect walk spoiled by a small white ball.
  5. What is a golfer’s favorite dance? The “swing”.
  6. A golfer’s favorite pop star has to be “Tee” Swift.
  7. Addicted to golf: the only step I’m on is the 9th hole.
  8. Golfers don’t fear old age. In fact, they hit their prime when they’re in the “club”.
  9. Why did the golfer become a baker? He was good at rolling the dough!
  10. Golfing can be a religious experience – you often hear “fore, God’s sake!”
  11. A golfer’s favourite tech? The iPad – especially for ‘Tee-time’!
  12. Why don’t golfers get sunburned? They always stick to the “greens.”
  13. A golfer’s favorite music note? You guessed it – “B” for Birdie.
  14. Golfers make excellent hikers. They always know the best “course.”
  15. Golfers never retire, they just lose their drive.
  16. If a golfer fought a boxer, who’d win? The golfer — they always have an “iron” in the hole.
  17. A golfer’s favorite superhero? Iron Man, thanks to his amazing “swing.”
  18. When a golfer is in love, they’re always above ‘par’.
  19. Why don’t golfers like to play with cats? They’re afraid they’ll play with their balls!
  20. A golfer’s lungs must be in top shape from all the “air swings” they’ve taken over the years.
  21. Tensed golfers? You’ll find them at the ‘club’ bar!
Golf Puns
  1. Golfers suffering from insomnia? They probably got the ‘yips’.
  2. What’s a golfer’s least favorite music? Heavy metal because it always feels like a “heavy iron.”
  3. A golfer doesn’t need a therapist, their caddy hears enough.
  4. Golfers and dogs aren’t too different. They both love fetching balls!
  5. Who is a golfer’s worst enemy? The sand ‘trap’.
  6. If golf were any more relaxing, it would be called yoga.
  7. Why don’t golfers have secrets? Because they can never keep things “private club.”
  8. Golf and lightning – a shocking combination!
  9. The golfer was really good at math — he knew all the “angles.”
  10. A golfer becomes an artist when they make a ‘stroke’ of genius!
  11. Golfers don’t mind bad news as long as it’s in ‘fairways’.
  12. So a golf ball goes into a bar… and the barman says, ‘Can I help you?’ and the golf ball says, ‘No, I’m just driving through.’
  13. Why don’t golfers ever go skydiving? Because they might get a hole in one!
  14. I played golf with my buddy. He tees off, looks for his ball, and says, “I see a lot of dimples, but not the one I made.”
  15. Our golf tournament was like an Easter egg hunt, we spent half the time just trying to find our balls!
  16. Golf is a lot like taxes, you drive hard to get to the green and end up in the hole.
  17. The golfer was known for his bad temper, he seems to have a chip on his shoulder.
  18. How do you define a lazy golfer? Someone who hates walking… and playing bad lies.
  19. Finding your golf ball in the sand is like trying to find a tan M&M at the beach!
  20. What’s the golfer’s favorite dance move? The putter slide!
  21. I don’t play golf to feel bad, I play bad golf to feel.
Golf Puns 1
  1. A golfer’s diet is simple, just green with lots of iron.
  2. My golf game is like my car, it’s not going anywhere without a good driver!
  3. Why won’t you ever starve on a golf course? Because of all the sand’-wedges’!
  4. Why do pro golfers always carry a spare pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
  5. I know a guy who holds the record for the most disappointing round of golf, 72 strokes… and that was just for his first hole.
  6. When it comes to skills, I’m on par with most golfers… unfortunately, we’re all terrible!
  7. If you think golf is hard try understanding the rules!
  8. Why are golfers bad runners? Because they can’t even stand on their own tees.
  9. Why don’t golfers use laptops? They are afraid of Windows!
  10. Golf and dating are similar; they’re both hard to get into and impossible to get out of.
  11. A bad day of golf is still better than a good day of work.
  12. What did the angry golfer do? He threw his club into the woods and it felt tee-rific!
  13. Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one.
  14. Golf is like marriage, it’s a love-hate relationship.
  15. Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  16. Golf is a funny game. It’s like watching grass grow, only less exciting.
  17. How do you know a golfer is cheating? When they’re having an im’putt’ant conversation with their golf ball.
  18. What’s a golfer’s favorite music note? B Sharp, because it’s never B Flat!
  19. Vacations are like golf: It’s always better in ‘par’adise.
  20. It’s hard to say if I’m good at golf or not. But I can certainly say I’m on par for the course.
  21. Why don’t golfers ever canoe? They’re afraid of getting caught in a water hazard!
  22. What do you call a golfer that always loses his balls? Forever teed-off!
  23. Why do golfers prefer old age? Because it’s the perfect excuse for a terrible swing!
  24. When I lose a ball, I call it a ‘golf tax’. When I find one, that’s a ‘hole-some’ return!
  25. What’s the problem with golf jokes? They’re always sub-par!
  26. My game is so bad, I yell “fore” I swing!
  27. Why are there 18 holes on a golf course? Because that’s how long it takes a golfer to down a six-pack.
  28. I’ve spent most of my life golfing, the rest I’ve just wasted!
  29. Golf is a game where the slowest people in the world are in front of you and the fastest are behind.
  30. Why is a golfer always a bad manager? They always miss the hole objective!
  31. Why did the golfer bring an extra glove? Just in case he got a hole in one!
  32. What do golf and arguments have in common? It’s about getting your point across in as few strokes as possible.
Golf Puns
  1. Why are golfers always well dressed? They spend most of their time in the dressing rooms.
  2. My friend told me that golf is 90% mental and 10% physical, but I think it’s the other way around- because I’ve lost my balls!
  3. Why was the computer cold during the golf match? Because it had too many Windows open.
  4. A golfer’s worst nightmare isn’t losing a golf ball, it’s losing the beer cart!
  5. What’s a golfer’s favorite kitchen appliance? The tea-kettle!
  6. After a legendary game, the golfer discovered a new element: Tee-tanium!
  7. Why do more strokes in golf mean worse performance? Clearly, it’s not an endurance sport!
  8. Golfers take their time because patience is key for a course of action.
  9. Why is golf called a gentleman’s game? Because you have to be really rich to play it!
  10. I switched to golf because no matter how I throw my clubs, I can’t get sent off!
  11. What do you call a golfer who lost his balls? Totally tee’d off!

Funny Golf Jokes And One-Liners

  1. Why can’t a golfer keep a secret? Because you always know their ‘score’!
  2. Why do golfers carry an extra shirt? In case they get a hole in one!
  3. Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot!
  4. I always carry two pairs of trousers when playing golf, just in case I get a hole in one!
  5. The biggest problem with golf is the 5-inch space between your ears.
  6. Why is it that golf is the only sport where you can’t hear the commentator? Because in golf, even the spectators are required to be quiet!
  7. Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers? They must always be ‘fore’-pared!
  8. Golf… It’s like the English language; it doesn’t make a lot of sense!
  9. Why did the golf ball turn red? Because it saw the sand trap!
  10. Why do golfers make horrible criminals? Because they can’t seem to bury their evidence!
  11. Where’s the best place to find a lost golf ball? In the hole.
  12. What does a golfer say to his golf ball? “Don’t you want to be in your hole? Aren’t you too good for your home?”
Golf Puns
  1. Why is golf just like cake? Because I always want another slice!
  2. What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes whack “damn”, and a skydiver goes “damn” whack!
  3. What’s a snowman’s handicap? Icy conditions!
  4. Why was the golf course designed so weird? The golfer had a stroke of genius!
  5. You might call my approach to golf micro-management. I take care of the little things: placing the ball, steadying my hands, lining up my shot… then I completely botch the big thing: hitting the ball!
  6. How did the golf club propose to the ball? “Can I put a ring on your finger?”
  7. How do you know it’s going to be a crappy game of golf? When answers to prayers are coming in the form of thunderstorms!
  8. Why do golfers carry bandaids? In case they get a hole in one!
  9. Do you know why golfers always carry two shirts? In case they get a hole in one.
  10. Why are golf and camping alike? They both involve mountains of gear, and are ideal places to lose oneself!
  11. A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you.
  12. The most important shot in golf is the next one.
  13. What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer screws up and says, “dammit.” A skydiver screws up and says, “Ahhhh!”
  14. Did you hear about the golfer who became a gardener? He’s great at putting Green!
  15. How do you say “I’m going to play golf” in pirate? “Arr, I be teeing off!”
  16. Golfer’s motto: Always stay in the fair ‘way’.
  17. Where did the golfer go when he lost his ball? Clubbing!
  18. Why did the golfer carry a gun in his golf bag? Because he wanted to get a shot in one!
  19. Did you hear about the adventurous golfer? He went clubbing all around the world!
  20. Once, I was golfing and lightning struck the course. I considered it a shocking par-formance.
  21. Why don’t golfers get sunburned? Because they always have plenty of ‘shade’ys
  22. If you hit it left, it’s a hook. If you hit it right, it’s a slice. If you hit it straight, it’s a miracle!
  23. What is a golfer’s favorite bird? Any bird of ‘par’!
  24. Why was Cinderella terrible at golf? She kept running away from the ball!
  25. What’s the difference between a golfer and a bungee jumper? A bungee jumper doesn’t yell “fore” when they jump off the platform.
  26. Lost balls are just part of the game! Now, lost clubs, that’s a proper tragedy.
  27. Why did the baker take up golf? He heard about all the rolling greens!
  28. Why do golf courses have eighteen holes? Because that’s the legal drinking age!
  29. Why do golfers hate playing with cats? They always steal the spotlight!
  30. How do you describe a golfer in a tight spot? He’s playing on borrowed time.
  31. Why do golf balls have dimples? Because they’re supposed to be cute!
  32. Some people say golf is boring, but I think it’s ‘tee’-rrific!
  33. How is playing golf different from watching golf on TV? On TV, you can see the ball!

In conclusion, golf puns prove that golf is not only a sport but also a unique source of humor that makes the game even more fun. They present a humorous side of golf that every golfer or fan can relate to. Whether you’re a scratch golfer, an enthusiastic amateur, or just a fan of golf-themed humor, you’re sure to find these golf puns swinging with fun and laughter. Did you enjoy the article? If so, why not share a few laughs with your family and friends? Spread the fun and joy of golf humor by sharing these hilarious golf puns with them.

Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.

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