250+ Funny Ice Hockey Puns: Jokes And One-Liners

Ice Hockey Puns: Discover the coolest ice hockey puns that will score a laugh and keep you entertained all season long.

Hockey fans and comedy enthusiasts, get ready for an incredible combination of sports and humor! Today we will delve into the exhilarating realm of “Ice Hockey Puns,” where wit takes center ice and laughter becomes our greatest weapon!

As an experienced comedienne in the comedic realm, I’ve spent over 10 years honing my craft of pun-slinging comedy to bring you hilarious one-liners and clever wordplay that are guaranteed to have audiences howling with laughter!

Attractively crafted puns that will have your laugh out loud; from silly anecdotes that will leave you shaking in your chair (but hopefully not on the ice!) to clever comebacks sure to tickle your funny bone, we offer an arsenal of comedic puns designed to hit home runs with any sense of humor!

We promise! Do yourself a favor and brace yourself – because we’re about to embark on an amazing pun-filled journey that’ll have you laughing faster than an opponent’s slapshot!

Let’s kick-off this hilariously humorous adventure by dropping the puck on our pun-packed hockey jokes and unleash a storm of laugher. Now is the time for comedy games and let the fun begin!

Top Ten Ice Hockey Puns

Ice Hockey Puns
  • Tea that hockey players love is penal tea.
  • Everyone gets a special drink at the end of a game, but only when their team has an opportunity to score inside the box of their opponent. The drink they are drinking is called known as a penal-tea!
  • There was a very unlucky moment the other day when watching a hockey match. I was enjoying the game and then suddenly, it began to break out!
  • Finland’s Ice Hockey Team Motto – You Fin Some You Lose Some.
  • The hockey goalie was scored three goals He looked up at the puck, then angrily stated, “I’ll catch you later”.
  • What type of fruit do ice hockey players favor most often? Puck-erines!
  • If the player on the ice was given a point for repeated icings, he rushed to get the penalty. However, he was able to take the time to melt the ice!
  • What type of cookies is an ice hockey player’s go-to treat? A slapshot!
  • What did the ice hockey puck say to its goalpost? “You are my perfect match!”
  • Why do ice hockey players make great musicians? Because they know how to break down walls with their music.

Read More: Martial Arts Puns And Jokes

Funny Hockey Jokes And Puns

  • Why did the hockey player bring his twin along to a game? Because he wanted double checks!
  • Why did the hockey puck go to school? For an education of its own!
  • Are you familiar with why the puck was terrible at hiding and seeking? Because it often got hit!
  • Why did a hockey player end up in jail? He got caught hooking too often!
  • What do you call a penguin who plays hockey? An “ice-breaking bird”.
  • Hockey players’ preferred genre of music is Slapshot Symphony!
  • Why did the hockey puck need medical treatment? Because it had the chills!
  • Why did the hockey puck come to school? In order to add an edge.
  • Why did the hockey puck end up at Principal’s Office? Because it had been seen slamming around on the ice.
  • Why did a hotdog vendor become a hockey goalie? He was always full speed ahead!
  • Why did the computer attend a hockey game? For networking purposes!
  • Why did an ice hockey player attend baking school? He enjoyed scoring goals in big batches!
  • Why don’t the werewolves play hockey anymore? Their bodies simply can’t handle all that post-howling stress!
  • What did the French hockey player bring with him to the rink? Beret sticks!
  • Have you heard about the hockey player’s autobiography that became an instantaneous bestseller on “ice-spiration”!?
  • What do you call a hockey player with poor aim? Sir Miss-a-lot!
  • Why was the Ice Hockey game so cold? Because all its fans!
  • My game became so intense, I thought a heart attack might ensue.
  • What happens when you combine a snowman and hockey player into one? Frostbite!
  • Why was the hockey goalie taking dance lessons? To sharpen his crease moves!
  • Are you trying to stop a rhino from charging onto the hockey rink? Take away its credit card!
  • Why did soup cans become hockey pucks? Because they could withstand many hits without suffering significant damages to remain deliciously soup-erb!
  • What would you call the smallest hockey player? A short’stop!
  • Why don’t hockey players go on vacations? Because they would much rather stay home than venture anyplace without an icy surface!
  • What happens when two professionals collide? You end up with one helluva clash!
  • What would you call a hockey player who enjoys grilling? A barbe-CUE!
  • Ice hockey stands head and shoulders above other forms of sports competition.
  • Why did the ice hockey team visit a locksmith? In order to address their ‘lockout’ dilemma.
  • Why did the chicken join the hockey team? She had all of the right eggs-act shots!
  • Have you heard the tale about the hockey player-turned-musician who excelled at scoring notes? He certainly knew his way around his instrument!
  • Why was the hockey book difficult to complete? Because there were too many faceoffs.
  • Why was my computer incapable of playing ice hockey? A quick slap shot took out its Windows!
  • Why did Cinderella fare so badly at hockey? Her coach was an apple!
  • Why did the hockey team visit a bank? In order to collect their checks!
  • Why can’t fish make good hockey players? Too many bad ice sticks!
  • Ice hockey: the place for jokes that score big laughs!
  • What do we refer to a hockey player with an anvil as? A puck-pounder!
  • Why did the hockey player become an illusionist? He knew just the trick to transform into one! He had some impressive feats up his sleeve!
  • What do hockey players love best as dessert? Ice cream goals!
  • What fruit do hockey players prefer? A puck-aya!
  • Do birds support their hockey teams via twittering? Absolutely.
  • Hockey team’s Zamboni driver boasts some of the smoothest moves on ice.
  • Why did the hockey team go to a bakery? For an exciting puck-cake!
  • Why was a hockey player keeping their helmet on during dinner? Perhaps his food was too cool!
  • What position would a ghost prefer when playing ice hockey? Ghoulie!
  • Ice hockey is truly the coolest sport.
  • How is a hockey rink like the newspaper? When its focus lies solely on its news coverage!
  • Why did the hockey player bring string along to his game? In case it became necessary for him to tie things up!
  • Why has the mustard bottle taken up hockey? Because they needed something more exciting on the ice!
  • Why did the hockey puck refuse to play? Because it was feeling flat!

Read More: Judo Puns And Jokes

Clever Hockey Puns

  • Why did the tomato turn red on the ice rink? Because it saw its food source: salad dressing!
  • Why was the math book an inadequate hockey player? It always has issues!
  • Attempts at playing ice hockey using a tennis racket are certainly unique! It would certainly take skill to achieve such success!
  • Why was there always a calendar on an ice hockey team? Because it contained all their “dates”.
  • What do you call an NHL hockey player who turns orchestra conductor? “Maestro on Ice!”
  • What would you call a girl on an ice hockey team who plays offensively? An “ice queen with an aggressive style!”
  • What cereal do hockey players love best? Iced Krispies!
  • Ice hockey: where the jokes flow easily!
  • What can you call a hockey player who knows piano? A puck Chopin!
  • Why did a hockey player visit a pet store? In search of his new puck-hound!
  • Why don’t hockey players sweat much? Because they take too many ice breaks!
  • Ice hockey players know how to inject humor into any situation!
  • Ice hockey players make for some hilarious banter on ice!
  • What time of the day does an elephant land on your hockey stick? Immediately! Time for an upgrade.
  • Hockey players possess more than just skill; they possess an extraordinary sense of ice-solation!
  • Why are bad ice hockey teams like worn out boots? Both tend to possess soles!
  • How does a hockey player cut pizza with razor-sharp blades? Using their “skates”.
  • Why was the hockey player such a fantastic musician? Because he could rock an awesome slap-bass!
  • Hockey players love goal-den flies! They make perfect companions during practice sessions on goalie net.
  • Why did a hockey player make such an excellent gardener? Because he always rakes up pucks!
  • Why don’t ice hockey teams employ sweepers? Their opponents always seem close!
  • Why don’t hockey players joke around on the ice? Because it makes people laugh!
  • Why did the hockey player bring along a pencil for this game? So that they could create some plays!
  • Why did the Scarecrow become an outstanding Hockey Goalie? His abilities were second-to-none!
  • What do you call a caveman who excels at hockey? Cro-Magnon on the rocks!
  • How do hockey players stay cool during an intense game? By hanging around their respective rinks!
  • What term best describes a hockey player that levitates? A Puck-Up Artist!
  • How does a hockey player express his affection? By icing the puck for you!
  • Ice hockey: an arena full of laughter!
  • Hockey puck was always making jokes; she was an effective way of breaking the ice between people.
  • Why did the hockey player bring string along to play? In case he needed to tie up the score!
  • Why do Christmas elves make such good hockey players? Because they consistently score top scores at North Pole-check!
  • What canine can play hockey? A Puck-er Spaniel!
  • Why was my hockey game always delayed? Too much ice-breaking!
  • Why did the hockey player visit a bakery? He wanted an incredible roll!
  • Your typical hockey player’s diet consists of iceberg lettuce and chicken ‘wings’.
  • What do you call someone who plays hockey in the kitchen? A whisk taker.
  • Why did hockey players always carry maps with them? In order to stay offsides!
  • What type of mathematics do hockey players enjoy most? Puck-culus!
  • Ice hockey players know the art of skating on thin ice while telling hilarious jokes!
  • Why did the hockey player buy a harp? He wanted to score some incredible “goals”.
  • Why did the hockey player wear two pairs of pants? In case he encountered any puck-ers!
  • What did the hockey puck tell the goal post? “You are an exceptional networker!”
  • What do you call a hockey player practicing yoga? A disk in pose!
  • What brought the goalie of the hockey team down to the beach? In order to perfect his glove tan!
  • “The Mighty Pucks!” is the film chosen as their favorite by their hockey team.
  • Ice hockey players are as adept with words as they are at skating!
  • What do you call an unthawed hockey puck? A cold-cutter!
  • Why are hockey rinks always cold? Draft picks!
  • Why do hip-hop artists love hockey so much? Because players tend to drop it!

Read More: Best Puns And One-Liners About Sports

Hilarious Ice Hockey One-Liners

  • Have you heard about the NHL team chef who always makes delicious ice cream sandwiches!?
  • What do you call a hockey puck that has gone cold? Chilly-chip!
  • Ice-ology! That was their favorite subject at Hockey School!
  • Why did the hockey player bring two pairs of pants with him for each game? Just in case a penalty shot came his way!
  • How does a hockey player greet his friends? By giving them a slap shot!
  • Why don’t ice hockey players drink tea? Because both teams – Canadiens and Bruins – already have enough mugs and cups available!
  • What do ice hockey players and magicians share in common? Both perform hat tricks!
  • Why can’t ice hockey teams operate in hot climates? Because you simply can’t have too many icings!
  • Ice hockey: where jokes stick like glue!
  • Why was the clock removed from a hockey game? Because it clocked someone!
  • What can you get if you combine an ice hockey player and magician? A player who can go undetected during games!
  • What was her favourite hockey play? A high ‘C’ hit!
  • What kind of tea do hockey players drink? Penaltea!
  • Why don’t hockey players ever seem to catch a cold? Since they tend to stay within close proximity to their boards.
  • Why did the hockey referee receive promotion? He could always withstand any situation!
  • Why wasn’t an ice hockey book ever published? Because too many chapters were missing!
  • Why did an ice rink hire a gardener? So they could plant more goals!
  • Why did the pirate fail at hockey? His hook kept getting caught in the net!
  • What did one hockey puck tell another? “I hope that we won’t let things slide!”
  • What type of sushi does a hockey player like best? Pucki!
  • What term would be applied to an NHL player with poor aim? A puck misser.
  • What do you call a cat that plays hockey? A Puck-ussy.
  • Ice hockey players possess both an abundance of excitement and laughter!
  • Why is a hockey stadium the coolest place? Because its packed full of fans!
  • What did the hockey puck tell the net? “I have been scoring all night!”
  • Why do hockey players carry sticks when playing on a court or other complex environments? Just in case they get in some sticky situations!
  • Ice Hockey: an engaging form of entertainment! Ice hockey players skating circles around puns!
  • Why did a hockey player receive suspension from school? He had engaged in high-sticking!
  • Ice hockey: where players score goals while making puns!
  • What do you call a bear with hockey skates? A Bi-polar Bear!
  • Why was Cinderella such an incompetent hockey player? She always attempted to dodge away from the ball!
  • Once, a hockey player missed an open goal – that really got under his skin!
  • Why was the hockey game cancelled? A frozen score!
  • Why can’t hamburgers make good hockey players? They always seem to flip out!
  • Ice hockey players know just the way to bring laughter! They always seem to come prepared with plenty of jokes for every occasion!
  • Why are hockey players great at hiding and seeking? Because you never know when they may drop their gloves.
  • Why did the hockey team visit a bakery? Simply because they needed some great rolls!
  • What do you call an inactive hockey player who often falls asleep while practicing the puck-er-upper technique? A puck-er-upper!
  • Why was the balance beam jealous of the hockey stick? Because its pucks outnumbered its tucks!
  • What do you call a hockey player with sunburns? A red-liner!
  • Why can’t architects become great hockey players? Every time they hit a puck it’s an architect’s blueprint!
  • What was it with all that noise at hockey games? Apparently the pucks never shut up!
  • Why do bakers make great hockey players? Because they know when and how to go for a roll!
  • Ice hockey players love eating their signature meal: an Italian sub topped off with sauce served on a breakaway bread stick.
  • Why did a hockey goalie enroll in music school? He wanted to develop his cymbal-ism!
  • How is a bakery like an NHL player? By creating the perfect roll!
  • Ice hockey players always manage to pull off amazing comebacks!
  • What is their preferred topping on their pancakes? Slap-stick syrup!
  • Why did he bring string to the game? In order to tie up the score!
  • Why can’t hockey games ever start off without any controversy? Because a referee always starts off the match by dropping the puck!

Funny Puns About Ice Hockey

  • What would you call an abandoned hockey rink that has ghostly activities happening within it? A spine-chilling center-ice!
  • Referees make excellent babysitters because they know exactly how to break down barriers between children.
  • Ice Hockey: where puns provide an injection of humor!
  • Why did the hockey puck visit school? Because it needed some lessons!
  • Ice hockey: where goals can be scored while creating hilarious puns!
  • Why could not the leopard play ice hockey? He kept getting flagged offsides.
  • Why can’t astronauts make good hockey players? Too much time spent in space!
  • Ice hockey: the sport where jokes can wriggle their way in for some big laughs!
  • Don’t you just hate hearing Ice Hockey jokes? Too many checks.
  • What did one defenseman suggest to another? Let’s have a ‘face-off.
  • What did the hockey puck think of its favorite song? “It really hits all the right notes!”
  • Did you hear about the hockey player who pulled an incredible feat off, pulling off an unbelievable magic trick by scoring with his helmet?!?!
  • Hockey players resemble magicians when performing trick shots!
  • Puck-er Up! is an immensely popular board game among hockey teams worldwide.
  • What would you call a bear who plays hockey? A “Slapshot-ic bear!”
  • What would Antarctica call a double overtime game that goes to double extra time? Endless Icing!
  • What do you call someone who plays hockey on frozen surfaces? Ice Capade!
  • Ice-capades! That is what a post-hockey party should be called!
  • Hockey players know the art of relaxation is key when on and off the ice.
  • What do hockey players love doing most for exercise? Puck-ups!
  • What part of hockey are electricians most excited for? The power play!
  • Why did the hockey game always seem so intense? Because players kept engaging in intense on-ice scrimmaging!
  • Ice hockey may be cool, but its jokes can be downright freezing!
  • What sound do sinking hockey rinks produce? ‘Puck Puck Puck!
  • Ice hockey: where the jokes are as sharp as its surface!
  • Why didn’t the bike stand upright at the hockey game? After all, it had two-tires!
  • What did the hockey puck think about its demanding day? “I feel deflated!”
  • Hockey players possess an adept sense of humor; they always come prepared with great icebreakers!
  • What dance move do hockey players enjoy the most? The Slapshot Shuffle!
  • Why was the hockey player sitting on the clock? He wanted to kill time!
  • How do hockey players celebrate victories? By opening up the cup!
  • Why don’t hockey players discuss secrets during games? Too many goalies listening in!
  • Why are pucks unfriendly? Because when you try to hit them they always wriggle back!
  • What do you call an amazing hockey player who knows his craft well? A puck-ster!
  • Why did the hockey player bring along a map to his game? Just in case he needed assistance!
  • Ice hockey: where laughter meets its target!
  • Why don’t goalies tell jokes? Because their work always remains within the net.
  • Why did the ant join a hockey team? He wanted to show off his ant-ics!
  • Goalie A is eccentric, always on edge and never at ease with himself or others.
  • Why did the coffee go play hockey? Because it was tired of getting mugged every morning!
  • What do you call an icy hockey player? A puck-sicle!
  • Why did the cupcake invest in the hockey team? Because she always gravitates toward anything with frosting!
  • Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Rather than risk upsetting opponents with hot beverages on a game day, these athletes prefer keeping things cold!
  • Why do hockey players tend to make poor comedians? Me? Well I just froze on stage!
  • Ice hockey players possess an infectiously hilarious sense of humor!
  • Ice hockey: where players possess both an affinity for cold weather sports and the skill necessary for creating brilliant puns!
  • What was the hockey puck saying to its player? “You make me slide!”
  • Hockey players scoring three goals is known as scoring a “hat trick”. When fans spill hot dogs, soda and popcorn all at the same time it is known as an “snack trick”.
  • Did you hear about the hockey player with an affinity for gardening who loved planting “hat-tricks?” He found great satisfaction in planting his flowers!
  • Ice hockey players possess a wonderful sense of humor!

Best Ice Hockey Puns And Jokes

  • What do you call an animal who plays ice hockey for dogs? A Pooch-er!
  • What do you call an ice hockey player who does not score any goals? A puck up.
  • Ice hockey certainly has me spellbound!
  • Why can’t astronauts play hockey in space? Simply because there are too many stars!
  • Have you heard about the ice hockey player known as Puckland-ambidextrous who plays on both teams simultaneously? He deserves recognition!
  • Hockey players possess excellent math skills due to knowing all their angles on the ice.
  • Why did an ice hockey coach sign up as an Uber driver? His expertise lies in managing breakaways!
  • Why did a hockey puck end up at boot camp? He wanted a career as an slap shot!
  • Hockey players sometimes emulate magicians by performing amazing hat tricks!
  • Ice hockey players may be impressive athletes, but their teammates’ personalities make them even cooler!
  • What position in hockey does a ghost prefer to play? Ghoulie!
  • Why was my hockey puck always exhausted? Because it had seen too much action!
  • Why do hockey players enjoy gardening? Because they excel at planting one in the net!
  • Where do ice hockey players gather their caffeine? At the “Dunk-in” rink!
  • What’s a hockey player’s go-to dessert? Puck cakes topped with frosting!
  • Why did a hockey player go to jail? He couldn’t stay out of trouble; penalties kept piling up against him.
  • Why do referees wear stripes? In order to stay invisible!
  • Do you know why hockey players tend to be optimistic? Because they anticipate breaking through barriers.
  • Why don’t hockey players use paper in school? They seem more concerned with making it to their ‘draft.’
  • Why don’t hockey players sweat when competing on an icy surface? Because ice never heats up!
  • What kind of music are ice hockey players fond of listening to? Hip Puck!
  • What’s a hockey player’s go-to spot when looking to relax and unwind? Usually the penalty box!
  • Why don’t hockey players ever become overheated? Because they sit so closely to their fans!
  • Who are the cleanest players on an ice hockey team? Those that regularly shower.
  • Why wouldn’t vampires play ice hockey? Because that would guarantee being checked into the boards!
  • Why can’t we trust hockey players with secrets? They always seem to give away information!
  • Why did a chiropractor become a hockey coach? His knowledge about correct alignment makes him ideal!
  • Why did the hockey player bring in a ladder for use during game play? In order to score high goals!
  • What type of music do hockey players prefer to listen to? Hip hop!
  • Why did the hockey coach visit a bank? In search of puck-change!
  • Have you heard the tale about the former hockey player who lost their “ice sense”.
  • How can we tell that sushi enjoys playing ice hockey? Because it enjoys getting hit on thin ice!
  • What do you call a smartphone used by hockey players? A “Hat Trick BlackBerry!”
  • What do you call a snowman playing ice hockey? Slapshot Frost!
  • What do you call an apology written with dots and dashes? Re-Morse-code!
  • What do you call a hockey player with poor aim? A Puck-er-tunist!
  • What do you call a cold puck? A brrr-eakaway!
  • Why did the hockey player bring his suitcase? In case there was extra time!
  • Stay put – the game has just started!
  • Why did the secret agent choose goalkeeping as his profession of choice instead of spy hunting? After all, they had become experts at uncovering spies!
  • Ice hockey players know how to have fun while skating on thin ice! Plus they’ve learned some hilarious anecdotes along the way!
  • Hockey players tend to possess an entertaining sense of puck-humor.
  • Why did the tomato turn red at a hockey game? Because it noticed the salad ‘dressing’!
  • Why are librarians targeting hockey players with such hostility? No one checks…there’s always “Shush”.
  • What do you call a hockey player who often creates chaos on the ice? A dustbin!
  • Why was a hockey puck visiting the library? Because it wanted to check-out!
  • Why did the hockey puck separate from the football? Because it had had enough being kicked around!
  • Why did the baker start playing ice hockey? He excelled at rolling dough!
  • Ice hockey: where the puns are as razor-sharp as its skates!
  • What did the hockey puck tell the goalie? “You are such an outstanding ally!”

More Clever Puns About Ice Hockey

  • Why did the computer struggle at hockey? Because it kept losing its ‘Windows’!
  • Why did the hockey puck make such an awful stand-up comedian? His delivery was always too flat!
  • What did the hockey player tell the puck? “Remain calm. Stay cool.”
  • Ice hockey players are just as adept with making jokes as they are at skating!
  • What do hockey players call it when their dreams involve competing at different arenas? Rink-carnation!
  • What do you call a hockey player who makes corny jokes? A puck-er up!
  • Why did the ice hockey player refuse to play cards? Because he had heard that the deck was stacked against him!
  • Have you heard about the hockey team’s mascot being an adorable polar bear on skates?
  • Why can’t bank vaults play hockey? Especially since they often unintentionally drop the “safe”.
  • What do you call a cat that plays hockey? An “ice cat!”
  • Why do bad hockey teams and old boots tend to give blisters? Both options leave people suffering!
  • Why do hockey players make great artists? Because they know exactly how to draw penalties.
  • Why did a hockey player decide to become a chef? He wanted to create some puck-cakes!
  • Why are there fences around a hockey rink? To prevent puck from escaping!
  • What tool would a hockey player find most indispensable when woodworking? A power-play drill.
  • Have you heard about the hockey player with an unexpected pet–it was a skating-rink!?
  • Have you heard the tale about the uncoordinated hockey player who always seemed to be skating on thin ice? He must have had quite an eventful career!
  • Where can the best hockey players congregate? In the net-work lounge!
  • Why did the hockey player bring an umbrella? He heard there could be showers…of goals!
  • Why did the hockey team host an outdoor picnic on the ice? Because they wanted a puck-nic!
  • Why did the puck break away from my hockey stick? Because it had had enough of being hit all of the time!
  • Have you heard about “Slapshot Suppers”, an on-ice hockey player’s cooking show?
  • Why did the rock star fail as a hockey player? Because he could never stop shredding his Stick!
  • What did the hockey puck think of its workout routine? “I feel awesome! My workout regime has me fully committed.”
  • Why can’t chickens make good hockey players? Because they fear pucks!
  • Why do ghosts make such good hockey players? Because they always bring an infectious energy and enthusiasm into every match!
  • Ice hockey: where the jokes skate circles around their punchlines!
  • Why did the hockey player keep his helmet on? So that he wouldn’t lose his edge!
  • How did a computer become an NHL star? By having the drive!
  • What term would be applied to an NHL player who does not score? A “missed-er”.

Final Words

As in every competitive arena, Ice Hockey provides no shortage of laughs – its humor always managing to bridge between serious competition and lighthearted fun like an expert puck player does! Ice Hockey jokes, puns or one-liners never cease to enhance one’s enjoyment of this intense sport; hopefully these puns have got your tongue wet while providing light relief amidst seriousness! So be sure to visit for more laughter-inducing puns – there is never an offside to laughter so keep spreading them around and stay pucking fantastic!

Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.

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