100 Athletics Puns And One-Liners

  1. Why don’t athletes ever play hide and seek? Good luck hiding when you’re in the track of field!
  2. Did you hear about the race between the two silkworms? They ended in a tie!
  3. I don’t think high jumpers are lazy, I just think they’re overachievers.
  4. All long-distance runners are real romantics. They’re always looking for a lovely runaway.
  5. Why was the jogger running in circles? He didn’t want to jump to conclusions!
  6. I started dating a sprinter, but it ended quickly. She just couldn’t go the distance.
  7. What’s an athlete’s favorite type of math? Long division. They’re always trying to go the extra mile!
  8. You won’t ever find a shy sprinter because when the sprinter gets the baton, they always take the lead.
  9. I met a Greek athlete the other day, amazingly he was an Olympian mathematician, he specializes in pi-athlon.
  10. Why was the track team so good at making music? Because they always had the best beats!
  11. What do you call an athletic soup ingredient? A stock runner!
  12. Weightlifters don’t need to go to comedy shows. They’re always getting their daily lift!
  13. Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
  14. Why don’t athletes ever indulge in ice cream sundaes? They don’t like to dessert their trainer.
  15. You could always tell the relay runners apart from the rest – they always pass with flying colours.
  16. Why was the runner always upset? He always felt the finish line was moving away from him.
  17. I asked the discus thrower what his secret was. He said, “It’s all in the wrist!”
  18. What did the sprinter give his girlfriend? Short bursts of affection.
  19. How does a javelin thrower break up with his girlfriend? He throws in the towel.
  20. Forget about heartbreak. Once you’ve experienced shin splints, nothing hurts more!
  21. I thought swimming was a lazy sport, then I realized it’s just people trying to get in the swim of things.
  22. Have you heard about the baseball player who became a cake decorator? Now he’s on batter duty full-time!
  23. What do you call an athletic pumpkin? The gym gourdian!
  24. I fought with a relay racer once. He just couldn’t hold on to his baton.
  25. If a long jumper misses a jump, do they call it a short jump?
  26. Why don’t athletes use wooden bats in cricket? They just can’t stick to it!
  27. A runner’s dentist visits are always short. Apparently, they’re just for a quick floss over.
  28. Ever heard of the boxer who became a gardener? He’s a total knockout in the flowerbeds.
  29. My friend said he doesn’t like athletic puns. I said, “Don’t be such a sport-kill!”
  30. What’s a tennis player’s favorite city? Volleywood!
  31. The hurdle runner’s motto is “Jump first, ask questions later.”
  32. Track and field athletes don’t need GPS. They always stay in their lane!
  33. I once knew an athlete who became a chef. Now his food is always a step ahead.
  34. I’m a really fast runner. Or as my friends say, I’m always Russian!
  35. A boxer’s favorite beverage? Punch.
  36. I have a joke about soccer, but I’m afraid you might get a kick out of it.
  37. My coach says I’m not cut out for hurdles – but what do I care? I simply leapt past that criticism.
  38. What’s a runner’s favorite subject? Jog-raphy!
  39. My friend said he can’t play soccer. The problem is, he just doesn’t get a kick out of it!
  40. Boxers sure get knocked out a lot, wonder if that’s why they sleep so well.
  41. I threw a boomerang a few years ago… Now live in constant fear.
  42. What’s a weightlifter’s favorite game? Heavy, set, go!
  43. Ah tennis, the sport where love means nothing.
  44. My runner friend tried stand-up once, but he just couldn’t stand still.
  45. Why was the ballerina always winning races? Because she was always on her toes!
  46. You can always trust a runner to be on time, they never want to be seconds behind.
  47. What do sprinters drink before they race? Nothing, they fast.
  48. Do you know why long distance runners always carry a map? They don’t want to run into any trouble!
  49. Athletes need a balanced diet— that’s why pole vaulters always eat their greens.
  50. Why do runners always look so suspicious? Because they’re always up to something.
  51. Why was the soccer book always appearing smart? Because of all its kicks and penalties.
  52. What’s a sprinter’s worst fear? Running out of time.
  53. Soccer players are great at math, they know all the angles. Their favorite? A right foot angle!
  54. What do runners and students have in common? They both hate tests, but can’t avoid them.
  55. Why did the track runner join the circus? Because he wanted to run away and join the cloud.
  56. What do weightlifters use to call each other? Bar-bells.
  57. While running a marathon, I was held up by a mime. He did unspeakable things.
  58. Why does everyone envy Olympians? Because they always go for gold.
  59. Apparently, high-jumpers don’t like secrets. They always want to know the ups and downs.
  60. Why are runners always early? They believe the ‘early bird catches the race.’
  61. I have a joke about a sprinter, but it’s too fast, you might miss it!
  62. Have you heard about the weightlifter who became an artist? Now he lifts spirits with his work.
  63. They said I’d never get over my obsession with hurdles. I thought, I’ll get over it.
  64. Why do runners always carry a pencil? In case they come across a sketchy path.
  65. What do you call a runner who likes to write? An autograph-lete!
  66. Ever tried hurdle dating? It’s a big leap, but you’ll get over it.
  67. Soccer fans are always chilled out. They like a lot of fresh air.
  68. Why don’t marathon runners ever ask for directions? Because they like going the long way around.
  69. Why can’t athletes play cards? Well, because the coach keeps insisting on running the deck.
  70. I think my new girlfriend is a sprinter. She left quickly without saying goodbye.
  71. It’s tough to become a pole vaulter. It’s always an uphill battle.
  72. Did you hear about the sprinter who stole a car? He was always a fast mover.
  73. What’s an athlete’s favorite flower? Running roses!
  74. I used to be an athletic key maker but I was always losing the run of myself.
  75. Why was the athlete always in trouble in school? Because he couldn’t stop running in the corridors!
  76. Keep calm, hurdle on!
  77. Runners don’t need a dating app, they always meet their “sole-mate” on the track.
  78. My pole-vaulter friend always raises the bar at parties.
  79. What’s a sprinter’s favorite type of music? Rapid fire hip hop!
  80. Did you hear about the crime in the multi-athlete event? There was a streaker in the long jump.
  81. Too bad long jumpers don’t play chess. They always jump to conclusions.
  82. Why did the soccer player go to the bakery? He heard the buns were fresh out of the oven and wanted a good roll with it.
  83. Have you heard about fast runners? They never waste a second!
  84. My karate black belt isn’t what I expected. Now I can’t seem to keep my pants up.
  85. Why do sprinters make good journalists? They always reach the finish line first!
  86. Weightlifters always support each other at parties… They know how to raise the bar.
  87. What keeps a trailing runner motivated? The thought of defeating the odds and being able to perform at the run-way.
  88. Why do soccer players make bad students? They can’t keep off the grass.
  89. I tried to run a marathon once. Halfway through, I hit the wall, and the wall hit back.
  90. What do you call an athlete who steals while playing soccer? A foot burglar!
  91. It’s all in the name. Sprinters go quickly, while long distance runners have stamina. They’re always going the extra ‘Mile’.
  92. The weightlifter quit his job as a bartender because the stakes were too high. He couldn’t handle the lifting pressure.
  93. Athletes always run away from their problems. Especially in a sprint!
  94. What’s a track runner’s least favorite school subject? The Long division!
  95. Why do sprinters make good firefighters? They always beat the hose.
  96. What kind of personal story does a high jumper have? One that always finishes on a high note!
  97. Boxing and swimming are quite similar. In the end, it’s all about staying afloat.
  98. Did you hear about the baseball player who studied music? He is now good at hitting the notes!
  99. How did the track runner get his electricity? From a running current!
  100. I dated a long-jumper once. She broke up with me because she said I wasn’t uplifting enough.

Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.