300 American Football Puns: Best For American Football

Are you searching for some funny American football puns? If yes, you are in the right place. below we have the best puns about martial arts.

People love watching martial arts. Of course, Patrick Mahomes and Justin Jefferson are the main reasons behind this. So for all American football fans, here are some hilarious puns!

You can use these puns to make your conversation more interesting and engaging. You can also use these puns to impress those who love American football.

Table of Contents

Funny American Football Puns

Ever hear about the football player turned chef? His specialty’s the “touchdown tartare”.
Why do footballs make terrible taxi drivers? They can’t handle the frequent pick up and drop off!
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
Why did the quarterback cross the road? To get to the other side… of the field.
Why did the quarterback start a bakery? Too many turnovers.
What do you call a football player who’s always singing? A pitch perfect athlete.
What do you call a football player who’s also a mathematician? A penalty-meter.
American football players and weather forecasters have one thing in common, they’re both good at predicting the highs and lows!
Why are footballs terrible at keeping secrets? Their stories always leak out!
Why did the football player get a penalty? He was caught holding.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back.
Why don’t footballs make good detectives? They always fumble the case!
Why did the football player wear his helmet in the shower? To avoid a special teams.
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
Why did the football break up with its partner? It felt too deflated!
Why did the football go to a seminar? To improve its field vision.
Why was the American football player bad at hide and seek? He always got tackled!
Why did the football player bring a microscope to the game? To examine the fine print in the rulebook.
Why did the football player bring a clock to the game? He wanted to be a good time manager.
The kicker was so bad at his job, he got the boot.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? He needed a new quarter back.
The safety’s favorite snack? Interception cookies.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of cloud? A touchdown cumulus.
Why was the football coach upset on his wedding day? He wanted a tight end, but got a wide receiver.
Why was the football player good at poker? He knew when to blitz.
What do football players and brokers have in common? They both do their best work in the trading field.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
Why did the football visit the bank? To get a few extra quarters!
Heard about the dentist who became a footballer? Now he extracts the ball rather than teeth.
Why was the football’s report card bad? Too many incomplete passes.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
Why did the football join a religion? To find its field of salvation!
Why was the football stadium so cold? It was full of fans.
Why did the football player bring string to the game? In case he needed a yard.
The center’s favorite game show? Snap! Crackle! Pop!
When I told my football joke to a referee, he threw a flag on the play because it was “too roughing”!
Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? In case he needed to make a high-point catch.
Why do footballs get emotional? They always get a good kick in the heart!
The ball boy’s favorite dance? The pigskin polka.
The quarterback’s favorite dance? The touchdown shuffle.
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
What do you call a football player who’s always borrowing money? A tight spender.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A penalty-kick-drum.
Why did the football player bring string to the game? In case he needed a yard.
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
The equipment manager’s favorite dance? The tackle box step.
The linebacker’s favorite dessert? Tackle pudding.
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a magician? A trickeration play-caller.
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
Ever hear about the foodie football? Every meal was a “touchdown”!
Why did the football player get a penalty? He was caught red-handed.
Why was the football coach good at math? He knew all the angles.
What do you call a ball that’s an art enthusiast? A football that enjoys Vincent Van Goal!
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back.
What do you call a football player who’s always telling jokes? A funny back.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A touchdown symphony.
Why do football players never play cricket? They struggle scoring past a boundary.
What do you call a football player who’s also a hairstylist? A helmet-met.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of music? Tackle-nical death metal.
Why did the quarterback start a bakery? Too many turnovers.

Best American Football Puns For Instagram

Why did the quarterback cross the road? To get to the other side… of the field.
Why aren’t footballs good at relationships? They’re too quick to bounce!
Why did the football start dancing? To avoid getting kicked!
What’s a football player’s favorite type of cookie? Chips a-hoy!
The announcer’s favorite movie? “Talk Like a Champion.”
What do you call a football player who’s always late? A delay of game.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of tree? A punt-ree.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
The tight end’s favorite movie? “Gone with the Wind Sprint.”
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
Football players don’t do yoga. They’re afraid they might get stuck in a “tight end” pose!
Why was the football at the police station? It was caught in possession!
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
Why did the football player bring string to the game? He wanted to tie the score.
What do you call a football player who’s always complaining? A wide whiner.
Ever see a football player without an earpiece? He just couldn’t catch the cue.
What do you call a football player who’s always making predictions? A fortune caller.
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
Why can’t a football be a gardener? Because it can’t stop rolling around!
What’s a football player’s favorite song? “Can’t stop the feeling” because they are always on the run!
Why are footballs not good painters? They always paint by the foot!
What do you call a football player who’s also a carpenter? A gridiron-er.
What do you call a football player who’s always dropping things? Butter fingers.
Why didn’t the football make a good politician? It just couldn’t stand its ground!
Why was the football player good at art? He could draw the defense.
The cornerback’s favorite movie? Interception.
The offensive coordinator’s favorite dance? The play-action shuffle.
Why did the quarterback start a bakery? Too many turnovers.
What do you get when footballs enter politics? A lot of back and forth!
Why did the football player bring a calculator to the game? To keep score, of course!
The referee’s favorite dance? The false start shuffle.
The cheerleader’s favorite dance? The sideline shimmy.
The special teams coach’s favorite holiday? Return-giving Day.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
What do you get when a football becomes a writer? A well-composed play.
Why don’t football players use vacuums? They’re too afraid of sweeps.
The offensive guard’s favorite movie? “Blocker by Nature.”
Why do footballs make bad friends? They always seem to be running away.
What do you call a football player who’s also a construction worker? A hard-hat-back.
Why did the football go to the concert? To get in the groove!
Why did the football player bring string to the game? In case he needed a yard.
What’s a football’s favorite way to relax? Enjoying a spot kick back at home!
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a magician? A trickeration play-caller.
Ever heard about the football student? He thought math was all about “adding yards”.
Why can’t footballs date? They always end up getting kicked around.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of cheese? Tackle-ella.
Why don’t American football players go to the bakery? Because they’re afraid of getting sacked!
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a pirate? A peg-leg passer.
Why did the football player bring a calendar to the game? To keep track of his seasons.
What do you get when you cross a football with a computer? A device that can log runtime.
Why do football players rarely play poker? They are afraid of losing their chips.
Why was the football at the bottom of the heap? It simply fell out of hand!
American football players make bad comperes. They always tackle the speaker!
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
What do you call a football player who’s always changing his mind? An audible-thinker.
Why do footballers never oversleep? They don’t want to miss the kickoff.
What did the American football say to the rugby ball? “You look inflated!”
Why did the football player wear his helmet to bed? To avoid a special teams.

Cute American Football puns and One Liners

Why didn’t the football finish its dinner? It was already stuffed!
What do you call a football player who’s always in a hurry? Rush-ian.
The coach’s favorite fish? Yellow card-p.
What do you call a football player who’s always exercising? A fit-ness guru.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A huddle-shuffle.
The quarterback’s favorite book? “The Art of the Sneak.”
Did you hear about the football that turned to music? It’s now known for its best hits!
What do you call a football player who’s also a mathematician? A penalty-meter.
What’s a football’s favorite city? New Orleans, because of all the Saints!
Why don’t football players ever get lost? They always follow the game plan.
What’s a football referee’s favorite dessert? Flag cake.
Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? In case he needed to make a high-point catch.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A penalty-kick-drum.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of car? A Hail Mary-cedes.
Why did the football player bring a fishing rod to the game? In case he needed to make a long-bomb catch.
Why do footballs rarely do well in school tests? They fear the pass/fail system.
Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? In case he needed to make a high-point catch.
How does a football say goodbye? It waves and says “catch you later!”
What do you call a football player who’s also a hairstylist? A helmet-met.
What do you call a pun turned long-snapper? A punt master!
What do you call a football player who’s always borrowing soap? A clean sweep.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A penalty-flag-on-the-play.
Why doesn’t a football ever marry? Because it’s afraid of getting tied down!
Don’t invite a football to your BBQ, it’ll hog all the chips!
What do you get when a football gets a job? The perfect work-life “pass”.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
Why did the football never get lost? It always follows the right path!
Why was the football player arrested at the airport? He was caught rushing.
American football players don’t like tea. Something about kicking the tea bag around doesn’t feel right.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A touchdown shimmy.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of sandwich? A sub-stitution.
Why was the football player good at chemistry? He understood the formation of bonds.
Why was the football player good at physics? He understood the gravity of the situation.
Why did the football player bring a dictionary to the game? He wanted to look up “victory.”
What do you call a football player who’s also a comedian? A stand-up quarter-back.
Why was the football player always stressed? His job was full of passes and tackles!
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
Why did the football take up academic coaching? It wanted to help students pass.
Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to go for a higher score.
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
Why do footballs get heartbroken? Because they’re always getting kicked around!
Ever hear about the football turned motivational speaker? “Keep your eyes on the goal!” is his motto.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back.
The fullback’s favorite movie? “The Longest Yard.”
Why did the football go to school? To get a little quarterback.
Why did the football player bring a ruler to the game? To measure his forward progress.
What do you call a football that’s a detective? An investigator who never drops the case!
What did the football say at the ballroom dance? “Let’s have a ball!”
Why was the football player good at music? He knew how to score.
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a pirate? A peg-leg passer.
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
What do you call a football player who’s also a construction worker? A hard-hat-back.
Know the difference between football and mashed potatoes? One is a smashing hit, the other is just smashed.
Why did the football team visit the zoo? To meet the quarter-back.
Why was the football player good at history? He could recall all the plays.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of dog? A retriever.
Why do footballs make good drivers? They always go with the flow!
What do you call a football player who’s also a hairstylist? A helmet-met.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.

Cute American Football Puns

Why was the football in the gym? It was working on its core inflation!
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
Why do footballs make bad students? They always get thrown out of class!
The placekicker’s favorite dance? The field goal polka.
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a pirate? A peg-leg passer.
What do you call a football player who’s always cold? A chilly receiver.
Why did the football player get a penalty? He was caught holding.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A touchdown shimmy.
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
The statistician’s favorite movie? “A Beautiful Blind Side.”
Why was the football player good at literature? He could read between the lines.
How does the football greet its teammates? It says, “Nice to beat you!”
Why was the football player good at algebra? He could solve for X and Y.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
Why can’t footballs be beavers? They can’t handle wood, only turf!
What do you call a football player who’s also a carpenter? A gridiron-er.
The wide receiver’s favorite game? Catch-22.
What do you call a football player who’s also a comedian? A stand-up quarter-back.
Why do footballs make excellent astronauts? They are excellent in passing around the globe!
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
What did the football say to the shoe? “I’m tired of being laced up!”
What advice did the football give the grass? Try not to get trampled upon.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A touchdown shimmy.
What’s common between a sharpshooter and a football? They both take a shot at the goal.
Why did the football player wear his helmet in the shower? To avoid a special teams.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A huddle-shuffle.
Why did the football player bring a magnet to the game? He wanted to attract the ball.
A football’s life is tough; it’s always getting kicked around and ends up losing air!
What do you call a football player who’s also a comedian? A stand-up quarter-back.
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a magician? A trickeration play-caller.
Why did the football lawyer lose the case? Couldn’t present a solid defense.
Why did the football go to therapy? It needed to vent out air!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
Why was the football good at flirting? It always knew how to score.
What does a football player bring to a party? A game of “catch up.”
Why did the football start modeling career? Because it was good at runway-shows!
Why did the football player bring a mirror to the game? To practice his re-flections.
Why did the football join a band? It had the perfect pitch!
What’s a football player’s favorite type of battery? A goal post.
Why can’t footballs become chefs? They’re too quick to boil over!
The defensive lineman’s favorite hobby? Sack racing.
I tried to catch a fog in football. I mist.
What did the touchdown-bound football say to the one being fumbled? “Looks like you’ve dropped the ball!”
Why do football players never seem to age? Because time isn’t the only thing they can tackle!
What’s an American football player’s favorite part of the joke? The punt-line!
Why are footballs bad at math? Because when they get to three, they get kicked!
Why did the football player bring a hammer to the game? He wanted to nail the victory.
Why was the football player good at gardening? He knew how to plant his feet.
What do you call a football player who’s always telling scary stories? A tackle of terror.
What’s a football’s favorite condiment? Must-catch-up!
The punter’s favorite drink? Punt-ch.
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A penalty-kick-drum.
Why did the footballer join the police force? He had a knack for catching offenders!
Why did the football player wear his helmet to bed? To avoid a special teams.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A penalty-flag-on-the-play.
What do you call a football player who’s always eating? A gridiron chef.
Why don’t quarterbacks ever go hungry? They always have a few extra bucks.

Dirty American Football Puns For Instagram

Why was the football field blushing? It saw the tight ends.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A penalty-kick-drum.
Why did the football player bring a fishing rod to the game? In case he needed to make a long-bomb catch.
Why didn’t the football make a good pet? It kept running away!
The defensive back’s favorite hobby? Pass-times.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A touchdown symphony.
What do you call a football player who’s always laughing? A tackle box of joy.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A huddle-shuffle.
Why did the football go to the circus? It wanted to join the juggling act!
What’s a football player’s favorite type of pasta? Elbowroni.
Why couldn’t the football be a comedian? It always fell flat!
What do you call a football player who’s always telling the truth? An honest-to-Goodell athlete.
The running back’s favorite song? “I Would Run 500 Yards.”
Why are American footballs so reliable? They always follow the plan!
The team owner’s favorite dance? The profit shuffle.
The head coach’s favorite movie? “The Playbook Redemption.”
Why did the football player wear his helmet to bed? To avoid a special teams.
What do you call a football player with no arms or legs? Matt.
Why was the football player good at botany? He knew how to plant his feet.
What’s a footballer’s favorite type of graph? Bar-charts because they like to raise the bar.
Why do footballs not date comedians? They don’t like getting roasted.
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
What do you call a football player who’s always falling asleep? A dream team member.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A penalty-kick-drum.
The waterboy’s favorite movie? “The Thirst Down.”
Why did the football player bring a compass to the game? To find the right direction.
What do you call a football player who’s also a carpenter? A gridiron-er.
What do you call a football team that shares everything? The give-and-go squad!
Why did the quarterback cross the road? To get to the other side… of the field.
Why did the football team visit the zoo? To meet the quarter-back.
Why did the football player bring a shovel to the game? He wanted to dig deep.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of tea? Penal-tea.
Why didn’t the football apply for a job? It was afraid of getting picked up.
The offensive line’s favorite food? Pancake blocks.
Why did the football team visit the zoo? To meet the quarter-back.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of road? An end zone.
Why was the football player good at geography? He knew all the zones.
Why did the football player wear his helmet in the shower? To avoid a special teams.
Why couldn’t the football be a farmer? Because it couldn’t plant its roots!
The nose tackle’s favorite flower? A snap-dragon.
Why did the football join the weightlifting team? It wanted to carry the weight of expectations!
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
Why did the American football get a job? It wanted to earn a few extra yards.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A touchdown symphony.
Why don’t footballs enjoy holidaying? Becuase their plans are always in the air!
What did the football say when it got lonely? Aww, kick it to me!
Why did the football player bring a telescope to the game? To see the long game.
Why can’t footballs join the orchestra? They always deflate at the wrong moment!
Why did the football player bring a fishing rod to the game? In case he needed to make a long-bomb catch.
What’s a football player’s least favorite vegetable? A turn-over.
The kicker’s favorite restaurant? Footlocker.
Why did the football player get a penalty? He was caught red-handed.
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
The long snapper’s favorite game? Twister.
Why don’t footballs make good sailors? They often go overboard.
What do you call a football player who’s also a construction worker? A hard-hat-back.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of exercise? Touchdown-s.
Why do football players become teachers? Because they know the rules by heart.
The linebacker’s favorite board game? Sorry! (I had to tackle you).

Final Words

Did you like our best collection of American Football Puns if yes then please show some love to our content and share this with your family and friends. So that we can add some more value to our site.

Chetan Kumar

Website

Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.