250+ American Football Puns And One-Liners

Are you searching for some funny American football puns? If yes, you are in the right place. below we have the best puns about martial arts.

People love watching martial arts. Of course, Patrick Mahomes and Justin Jefferson are the main reasons behind this. So for all American football fans, here are some hilarious puns!

You can use these puns to make your conversation more interesting and engaging. You can also use these puns to impress those who love American football.

Table of Contents

Top Funniest American Football Puns

The cheerleader’s favorite dance? The sideline shimmy.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
Why do football players never play cricket? They struggle scoring past a boundary.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
What do you get when you cross a football with a computer? A device that can log runtime.
I tried to catch a fog in football. I mist.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A touchdown shimmy.
What do you get when a football becomes a writer? A well-composed play.
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a pirate? A peg-leg passer.
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a magician? A trickeration play-caller.
What do you call a football player who’s always singing? A pitch perfect athlete.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A huddle-shuffle.
Why did the football player bring a magnet to the game? He wanted to attract the ball.
What do you call a football player who’s also a hairstylist? A helmet-met.
Why did the football player bring a shovel to the game? He wanted to dig deep.
Why do footballs make bad students? They always get thrown out of class!
Why didn’t the football make a good pet? It kept running away!
Why do footballs make terrible taxi drivers? They can’t handle the frequent pick up and drop off!
Ever see a football player without an earpiece? He just couldn’t catch the cue.
Why are footballs not good painters? They always paint by the foot!
What do you call a football player who’s also a construction worker? A hard-hat-back.
The center’s favorite game show? Snap! Crackle! Pop!
Why did the football go to a seminar? To improve its field vision.
What do you call a football player who’s also a mathematician? A penalty-meter.
Why did the football player wear his helmet to bed? To avoid a special teams.
What do you call a football team that shares everything? The give-and-go squad!
The long snapper’s favorite game? Twister.
Why aren’t footballs good at relationships? They’re too quick to bounce!
Why was the football player good at chemistry? He understood the formation of bonds.
The placekicker’s favorite dance? The field goal polka.
Why don’t football players ever get lost? They always follow the game plan.
The running back’s favorite song? “I Would Run 500 Yards.”
Why did the football player wear his helmet in the shower? To avoid a special teams.
Why did the football visit the bank? To get a few extra quarters!
Why did the football player bring a fishing rod to the game? In case he needed to make a long-bomb catch.
Why don’t football players use vacuums? They’re too afraid of sweeps.
What do you call a football player who’s also a comedian? A stand-up quarter-back.
Why did the football player wear his helmet in the shower? To avoid a special teams.
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
Why did the football go to the concert? To get in the groove!
Why did the quarterback cross the road? To get to the other side… of the field.
Why are footballs bad at math? Because when they get to three, they get kicked!
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A penalty-kick-drum.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A touchdown shimmy.
The tight end’s favorite movie? “Gone with the Wind Sprint.”
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A penalty-flag-on-the-play.
Why was the football player good at music? He knew how to score.
Why don’t footballs make good detectives? They always fumble the case!
Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? In case he needed to make a high-point catch.
The punter’s favorite drink? Punt-ch.

Funny American Football Puns and One-Liners

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back.
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
Why do footballs make excellent astronauts? They are excellent in passing around the globe!
Why don’t footballs make good sailors? They often go overboard.
Why can’t footballs date? They always end up getting kicked around.
Why didn’t the football make a good politician? It just couldn’t stand its ground!
What do you call a football player who’s always late? A delay of game.
American football players and weather forecasters have one thing in common, they’re both good at predicting the highs and lows!
Why can’t footballs join the orchestra? They always deflate at the wrong moment!
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
The ball boy’s favorite dance? The pigskin polka.
The defensive lineman’s favorite hobby? Sack racing.
Why did the football player bring a hammer to the game? He wanted to nail the victory.
Why did the football lawyer lose the case? Couldn’t present a solid defense.
Why did the quarterback cross the road? To get to the other side… of the field.
The wide receiver’s favorite game? Catch-22.
Why can’t a football be a gardener? Because it can’t stop rolling around!
Why was the football player good at literature? He could read between the lines.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A penalty-kick-drum.
The offensive guard’s favorite movie? “Blocker by Nature.”
Why are American footballs so reliable? They always follow the plan!
Why do footballs make bad friends? They always seem to be running away.
Why did the quarterback cross the road? To get to the other side… of the field.
The team owner’s favorite dance? The profit shuffle.
Why did the football player bring string to the game? In case he needed a yard.
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a pirate? A peg-leg passer.
Why was the football player good at history? He could recall all the plays.
What do you call a football player who’s always borrowing soap? A clean sweep.
Why did the football go to the circus? It wanted to join the juggling act!
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
Why was the football at the police station? It was caught in possession!
Why did the football player get a penalty? He was caught red-handed.
The head coach’s favorite movie? “The Playbook Redemption.”
Why did the football player bring a mirror to the game? To practice his re-flections.
The fullback’s favorite movie? “The Longest Yard.”
What does a football player bring to a party? A game of “catch up.”
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a pirate? A peg-leg passer.
Why did the football start modeling career? Because it was good at runway-shows!
Why was the football player good at physics? He understood the gravity of the situation.
The cornerback’s favorite movie? Interception.
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
The equipment manager’s favorite dance? The tackle box step.
What’s a football referee’s favorite dessert? Flag cake.
Why didn’t the football apply for a job? It was afraid of getting picked up.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of tea? Penal-tea.
Why was the football player good at geography? He knew all the zones.
What do you call a football player who’s always telling the truth? An honest-to-Goodell athlete.
Why don’t American football players go to the bakery? Because they’re afraid of getting sacked!
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a magician? A trickeration play-caller.
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To get his quarter back.

Cute American Football Puns For Instagram

Football players don’t do yoga. They’re afraid they might get stuck in a “tight end” pose!
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
The offensive line’s favorite food? Pancake blocks.
Why was the football player good at gardening? He knew how to plant his feet.
What do you call a football player who’s also a comedian? A stand-up quarter-back.
The announcer’s favorite movie? “Talk Like a Champion.”
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A touchdown symphony.
Why was the football player arrested at the airport? He was caught rushing.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
What do you call a football player who’s also a hairstylist? A helmet-met.
What do you call a football player who’s always in a hurry? Rush-ian.
Why was the football player good at poker? He knew when to blitz.
How does a football say goodbye? It waves and says “catch you later!”
Why do footballs rarely do well in school tests? They fear the pass/fail system.
Why was the football’s report card bad? Too many incomplete passes.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A penalty-flag-on-the-play.
Why do footballs get emotional? They always get a good kick in the heart!
What’s a football player’s favorite type of cheese? Tackle-ella.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of tree? A punt-ree.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A touchdown symphony.
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
Why was the football player good at botany? He knew how to plant his feet.
Why did the football go to school? To get a little quarterback.
Why did the football go to therapy? It needed to vent out air!
Why do footballs get heartbroken? Because they’re always getting kicked around!
What did the American football say to the rugby ball? “You look inflated!”
Why did the football player get a penalty? He was caught holding.
Why did the quarterback start a bakery? Too many turnovers.
Why do football players become teachers? Because they know the rules by heart.
What do you call a ball that’s an art enthusiast? A football that enjoys Vincent Van Goal!
Why did the football start dancing? To avoid getting kicked!
Why did the football player bring a telescope to the game? To see the long game.
Did you hear about the football that turned to music? It’s now known for its best hits!
What’s a football player’s favorite type of cookie? Chips a-hoy!
Why doesn’t a football ever marry? Because it’s afraid of getting tied down!
Why did the footballer join the police force? He had a knack for catching offenders!
What do you call a football player who’s always laughing? A tackle box of joy.
The nose tackle’s favorite flower? A snap-dragon.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of cloud? A touchdown cumulus.
What do you call a football player who’s also a comedian? A stand-up quarter-back.
Why can’t footballs become chefs? They’re too quick to boil over!
Ever hear about the football player turned chef? His specialty’s the “touchdown tartare”.
Why did the football player bring string to the game? In case he needed a yard.
The waterboy’s favorite movie? “The Thirst Down.”
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
The quarterback’s favorite dance? The touchdown shuffle.
The special teams coach’s favorite holiday? Return-giving Day.
Why do footballers never oversleep? They don’t want to miss the kickoff.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of dog? A retriever.
Why did the football player bring a clock to the game? He wanted to be a good time manager.

Best Puns Related To American Football

What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A penalty-kick-drum.
Why did the football team visit the zoo? To meet the quarter-back.
What did the football say when it got lonely? Aww, kick it to me!
Why did the football break up with its partner? It felt too deflated!
What do you call a football player who’s also a carpenter? A gridiron-er.
Why did the football player bring string to the game? In case he needed a yard.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of music? Tackle-nical death metal.
What do you call a football player with no arms or legs? Matt.
Why did the football join a religion? To find its field of salvation!
American football players don’t like tea. Something about kicking the tea bag around doesn’t feel right.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of exercise? Touchdown-s.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of sandwich? A sub-stitution.
What do you call a football player who’s always exercising? A fit-ness guru.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back.
What do you call a football player who’s always changing his mind? An audible-thinker.
Heard about the dentist who became a footballer? Now he extracts the ball rather than teeth.
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
Why did the football player wear his helmet in the shower? To avoid a special teams.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
What do you get when footballs enter politics? A lot of back and forth!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
Why did the football player bring a microscope to the game? To examine the fine print in the rulebook.
Why did the quarterback start a bakery? Too many turnovers.
Why was the football field blushing? It saw the tight ends.
The coach’s favorite fish? Yellow card-p.
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
Why did the football player wear his helmet to bed? To avoid a special teams.
Why was the football at the bottom of the heap? It simply fell out of hand!
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
Why are footballs terrible at keeping secrets? Their stories always leak out!
What’s a football’s favorite way to relax? Enjoying a spot kick back at home!
Why did the football take up academic coaching? It wanted to help students pass.
The statistician’s favorite movie? “A Beautiful Blind Side.”
Why was the football coach good at math? He knew all the angles.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of road? An end zone.
Why was the football coach upset on his wedding day? He wanted a tight end, but got a wide receiver.
Why did the American football get a job? It wanted to earn a few extra yards.
Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? In case he needed to make a high-point catch.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of battery? A goal post.
Why did the football player bring a compass to the game? To find the right direction.
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
Why don’t quarterbacks ever go hungry? They always have a few extra bucks.
Why did the football player get a penalty? He was caught holding.
What’s common between a sharpshooter and a football? They both take a shot at the goal.
Why couldn’t the football be a comedian? It always fell flat!
Why did the football coach go to the bank? He needed a new quarter back.
The offensive coordinator’s favorite dance? The play-action shuffle.
Why didn’t the football finish its dinner? It was already stuffed!
The referee’s favorite dance? The false start shuffle.

The linebacker’s favorite dessert? Tackle pudding.
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
What did the touchdown-bound football say to the one being fumbled? “Looks like you’ve dropped the ball!”
What do you get when a football gets a job? The perfect work-life “pass”.
Why did the football join a band? It had the perfect pitch!
What’s a football player’s least favorite vegetable? A turn-over.
Why did the football player bring a calculator to the game? To keep score, of course!
What’s a football player’s favorite song? “Can’t stop the feeling” because they are always on the run!
Why was the football good at flirting? It always knew how to score.
Why did the football join the weightlifting team? It wanted to carry the weight of expectations!
What do you call a football player who’s also a carpenter? A gridiron-er.
The kicker was so bad at his job, he got the boot.
Why did the football player bring string to the game? He wanted to tie the score.
What do you call a football player who’s also a hairstylist? A helmet-met.
What do you call a football player who’s always complaining? A wide whiner.
What advice did the football give the grass? Try not to get trampled upon.
Why do football players never seem to age? Because time isn’t the only thing they can tackle!
Why did the football player bring a calendar to the game? To keep track of his seasons.
What do you call a quarterback who’s also a magician? A trickeration play-caller.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
The linebacker’s favorite board game? Sorry! (I had to tackle you).
What do you call a football player who’s also a magician? A hocus-pocus-back.
Know the difference between football and mashed potatoes? One is a smashing hit, the other is just smashed.
Why can’t footballs be beavers? They can’t handle wood, only turf!
A football’s life is tough; it’s always getting kicked around and ends up losing air!
What do you call a football player who’s always falling asleep? A dream team member.
Why did the football player bring a fishing rod to the game? In case he needed to make a long-bomb catch.
What did the football say to the shoe? “I’m tired of being laced up!”
What’s a football’s favorite city? New Orleans, because of all the Saints!
What do you call a football player who’s always telling jokes? A funny back.
Why was the football player always stressed? His job was full of passes and tackles!
What’s an American football player’s favorite part of the joke? The punt-line!
The safety’s favorite snack? Interception cookies.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
What do you call a pun turned long-snapper? A punt master!
What do you call a football player who’s also a carpenter? A gridiron-er.
What do you call a football player who’s always cold? A chilly receiver.
What do you call a football player who’s always telling scary stories? A tackle of terror.
The quarterback’s favorite book? “The Art of the Sneak.”
Why did the football team visit the zoo? To meet the quarter-back.
Why was the football in the gym? It was working on its core inflation!
American football players make bad comperes. They always tackle the speaker!
Why was the football player good at art? He could draw the defense.
What’s a footballer’s favorite type of graph? Bar-charts because they like to raise the bar.
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
Why did the football player bring a dictionary to the game? He wanted to look up “victory.”
Why do football players rarely play poker? They are afraid of losing their chips.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
What do you call a football player who’s also a construction worker? A hard-hat-back.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of pasta? Elbowroni.

What do you call a football player who’s always eating? A gridiron chef.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A touchdown symphony.
What do you call a football player who’s always making predictions? A fortune caller.
Why do footballs not date comedians? They don’t like getting roasted.
Why did the football player wear his helmet to bed? To avoid a special teams.
What do you call a football player who’s always borrowing money? A tight spender.
Why was the American football player bad at hide and seek? He always got tackled!
What did the football say at the ballroom dance? “Let’s have a ball!”
Ever heard about the football student? He thought math was all about “adding yards”.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of car? A Hail Mary-cedes.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
What do you call a football that’s a detective? An investigator who never drops the case!
How does the football greet its teammates? It says, “Nice to beat you!”
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A huddle-shuffle.
The defensive back’s favorite hobby? Pass-times.
What do you call a football player who’s also a construction worker? A hard-hat-back.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A touchdown shimmy.
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
Why did the football player get a penalty? He was caught red-handed.
Why was the football player good at algebra? He could solve for X and Y.
Why do footballs make good drivers? They always go with the flow!
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A penalty-kick-drum.
Why couldn’t the football be a farmer? Because it couldn’t plant its roots!
Why did the football team visit the zoo? To meet the quarter-back.
What do you call a football player who’s also a plumber? A down-the-line-backer.
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
The kicker’s favorite restaurant? Footlocker.
What do you call a football player who’s also a mathematician? A penalty-meter.
Why did the football team visit the bank? To make a quarter-back deposit.
What do you call a football player who’s also a musician? A penalty-kick-drum.
Don’t invite a football to your BBQ, it’ll hog all the chips!
Ever hear about the football turned motivational speaker? “Keep your eyes on the goal!” is his motto.
Why was the football stadium so cold? It was full of fans.
Why did the quarterback start a bakery? Too many turnovers.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back.
Why did the football team go to the library? To get a new play-book.
Why did the football player bring a ruler to the game? To measure his forward progress.
What do you call a football player who’s also a dancer? A huddle-shuffle.
Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to go for a higher score.
When I told my football joke to a referee, he threw a flag on the play because it was “too roughing”!
Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
Ever hear about the foodie football? Every meal was a “touchdown”!
Why don’t footballs enjoy holidaying? Becuase their plans are always in the air!
Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? In case he needed to make a high-point catch.
What do football players and brokers have in common? They both do their best work in the trading field.
What do you call a football player who’s always dropping things? Butter fingers.
What’s a football’s favorite condiment? Must-catch-up!
Why did the football player bring a fishing rod to the game? In case he needed to make a long-bomb catch.
What do you call a football player who’s also a chef? A touchdown touchdown.
Why did the football never get lost? It always follows the right path!

Final Words

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Chetan Kumar

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Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.