250+ Funny Ice Hockey Puns And One-Liners

Searching for funny ice hockey puns? If yes, this post is just for you. Today, we’ve compiled a list of the best ice hockey puns that will make you laugh.

Ice hockey is one of the most-watched sports in the USA and the UK, and it has a huge fan base. But there’s something fans love almost as much as the game itself: ice hockey puns. However, these puns can be tricky to come up with. That’s why we’ve put together this amazing list of puns that you can easily share with your family and friends.

Table of Contents

Top Funny Ice Hockey Puns

I tried to be a hockey goalie, but I just couldn’t handle the pressure. I was a total basket case.
Why don’t hockey players ever win the lottery? They’re always hitting the posts!
The ice rink’s new DJ? He really knows how to drop the bass.
What do you call a hockey player with a great sense of rhythm? A puck-et drummer.
I asked the equipment manager for some new gear. He told me to puck off.
Why was the hockey puck feeling down? It was board with the game.
The team’s nutritionist is always telling players to eat more greens. Must be all that iceberg lettuce.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always changing his mind? A flip-flopper.
The team’s mascot is really living on thin ice these days.
Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to play in the upper leagues!
The enforcer’s favorite drink? Punch.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A bench warmer.
The team’s new strategy? Putting all their eggs in one basket. They’re really skating on thin ice with that one.
Why don’t hockey players ever get lost? They always follow the blue line.
The goalie’s favorite movie? “Net-flix and Chill.”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always complaining? A whine and cheese party.
The referee’s favorite dance? The penalty box step.
Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game? To look for the fine print in the rule book!
The team’s new slogan: “Ice to meet you!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always falling? A slip-and-slide champion.
The zamboni driver’s favorite pickup line? “Baby, I’ll smooth things over for you.”
Why don’t hockey players ever get cold feet? They’re always on the ice!
The team’s new fitness regimen? Cross-checking their diet.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always arguing? A sin bin syndrome sufferer.
The team’s motto: “Stick it to ’em!”
Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game? To see the stars on ice!
The team’s new strategy? Playing it cool under pressure.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always making excuses? A sorry sport.
The coach’s favorite TV show? “Game of Zones.”
Why did the hockey player bring a compass to the game? To find his true north-south play!
The team’s new ritual? Icing on the cake before each game.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always stealing the puck? A stick-y fingers.
The referee’s favorite board game? Sorry!
Why did the hockey player bring a calculator to the game? To check his stats-us!
The team’s new motto: “Let’s break the ice… and maybe a few records!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always tripping? A fall star.
The zamboni driver’s favorite song? “Smooth Operator.”
Why did the hockey player bring a dictionary to the game? To look up ‘win’!
The team’s new strategy? Putting all their ducks in a row… on ice.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always hogging the puck? A disc jockey.
The goalie’s favorite snack? Shutout-cakes.
Why did the hockey player bring a mirror to the game? For some self-reflection on his play!
The team’s new mantra: “Ice, ice, baby!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always changing teams? A puck-et hopper.
The referee’s favorite drink? Penalty shot.
Why did the hockey player bring a clock to the game? To watch his ice time!
The team’s new strategy? Skating circles around the competition.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always getting penalties? A sin-sational player.
The coach’s favorite dessert? Iced buns.
Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game? To plot his course to victory!

Funniest Puns About Ice Hockey

The team’s new slogan: “Stick together, win together!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always celebrating? A goal-den boy.
The zamboni driver’s favorite movie? “Smooth Criminal.”
Why did the hockey player bring a thermometer to the game? To check if he was running a fever pitch!
The team’s new strategy? Putting their opponents on ice.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always blocking shots? A pane in the glass.
The referee’s favorite dance move? The power play slide.
Why did the hockey player bring a cookbook to the game? He wanted to cook up a victory!
The team’s new motto: “Giving ’em the cold shoulder!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always losing his temper? A hot head on ice.
The goalie’s favorite TV show? “Masked Singer.”
Why did the hockey player bring a microscope to the game? To examine his micro-plays!
The team’s new strategy? Skating on the edge of glory.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always making assists? A stick-y situation solver.
The coach’s favorite weather? When it’s brewing a perfect storm.
Why did the hockey player bring a protractor to the game? To measure his angles on the ice!
The team’s new slogan: “Chill out and play hard!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always diving? A ice-olympic swimmer.
The zamboni driver’s favorite book? “Fifty Shades of Ice.”
Why did the hockey player bring a telescope to the game? To see his long-term goals!
The team’s new strategy? Breaking the ice with their opponents… literally.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always scoring? A net profit.
The referee’s favorite food? Whistle-stop pizza.
Why did the hockey player bring a thermometer to the game? To measure his cold streaks!
The team’s new motto: “Slap shot to the top!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always trash-talking? A lip service specialist.
The goalie’s favorite dance? The crease lightning.
Why did the hockey player bring a magnifying glass to the game? To inspect the fine lines of his strategy!
The team’s new strategy? Putting their rivals on thin ice.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always bench pressing? A power play specialist.
The coach’s favorite drink? On the rocks, of course.
Why did the hockey player bring a compass to the game? To find his way to the goal!
The team’s new slogan: “Icing on the competition!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always stretching? A flex-ible asset.
The zamboni driver’s favorite hobby? Smoothie making.
Why did the hockey player bring a calculator to the game? To crunch some ice-cold numbers!
The team’s new strategy? Giving their opponents the cold shoulder.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always practicing? A rink-aholic.
The referee’s favorite TV show? “Law & Order: Special Victims Rink.”
Why did the hockey player bring a thesaurus to the game? To find synonyms for ‘victory’!
The team’s new motto: “Keep your friends close and your opponents on ice!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always hydrating? A water boy wonder.
The goalie’s favorite movie? “Crease Lightning.”
Why did the hockey player bring a GPS to the game? To re-route the opposition!
The team’s new strategy? Freezing out the competition.
What do you call a hockey player who’s always doing splits? A flexible defender.
The coach’s favorite card game? Ice poker.
Why did the hockey player bring a microscope to the game? To analyze his micro-manages!
The team’s new slogan: “Stick it where the sun don’t shine… the ice rink!”
What do you call a hockey player who’s always borrowing equipment? A stick-y fingers bandit.

Cute Ice Hockey Puns For Instagram

Why did the hockey player go to the dentist? They had a tooth-and-nail fight on the ice!
What do you call a hockey player who’s always late? A puck-rastinator!
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? They needed to make a net deposit!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a magician? A puck-eroo!
Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the other side of the ice!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a chef? A puck-tastic cook!
Why did the hockey player go to the library? They were looking for a good book-check!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a comedian? A puck-ing hilarious guy!
Why did the hockey player go to the gym? They wanted to get in tip-top shape for the big game!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a fashion designer? A puck-tacular dresser!
Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? They had a case of the puck-ups!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a musician? A puck-tastic performer!
Why did the hockey player go to the beach? They were looking for a good puck-up line!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a mathematician? A puck-ulator!
Why did the hockey player go to the zoo? They wanted to see the puck-uins!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a writer? A puck-ing good author!
Why did the hockey player go to the hardware store? They needed to buy a new puck-et wrench!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a gardener? A puck-tastic green thumb!
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? They needed to make a puck-deposit!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a comedian? A puck-ing hilarious guy!
Why did the hockey player go to the library? They were looking for a good puck-book!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a chef? A puck-tastic cook!
Why did the hockey player go to the gym? They wanted to get in tip-top puck-shape!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a fashion designer? A puck-tacular dresser!
Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? They had a case of the puck-ups!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a musician? A puck-tastic performer!
Why did the hockey player go to the beach? They were looking for a good puck-up line!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a mathematician? A puck-ulator!
Why did the hockey player go to the zoo? They wanted to see the puck-uins!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a writer? A puck-ing good author!
Why did the hockey player go to the hardware store? They needed to buy a new puck-et wrench!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a gardener? A puck-tastic green thumb!
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? They needed to make a puck-deposit!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a comedian? A puck-ing hilarious guy!
Why did the hockey player go to the library? They were looking for a good puck-book!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a chef? A puck-tastic cook!
Why did the hockey player go to the gym? They wanted to get in tip-top puck-shape!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a fashion designer? A puck-tacular dresser!
Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? They had a case of the puck-ups!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a musician? A puck-tastic performer!
Why did the hockey player go to the beach? They were looking for a good puck-up line!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a mathematician? A puck-ulator!
Why did the hockey player go to the zoo? They wanted to see the puck-uins!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a writer? A puck-ing good author!
Why did the hockey player go to the hardware store? They needed to buy a new puck-et wrench!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a gardener? A puck-tastic green thumb!
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? They needed to make a puck-deposit!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a comedian? A puck-ing hilarious guy!
Why did the hockey player go to the library? They were looking for a good puck-book!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a chef? A puck-tastic cook!

Cool Ice Hockey Puns For Captions

Why did the hockey player go to the gym? They wanted to get in tip-top puck-shape!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a fashion designer? A puck-tacular dresser!
Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? They had a case of the puck-ups!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a musician? A puck-tastic performer!
Why did the hockey player go to the beach? They were looking for a good puck-up line!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a mathematician? A puck-ulator!
Why did the hockey player go to the zoo? They wanted to see the puck-uins!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a writer? A puck-ing good author!
Why did the hockey player go to the hardware store? They needed to buy a new puck-et wrench!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a gardener? A puck-tastic green thumb!
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? They needed to make a puck-deposit!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a comedian? A puck-ing hilarious guy!
Why did the hockey player go to the library? They were looking for a good puck-book!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a chef? A puck-tastic cook!
Why did the hockey player go to the gym? They wanted to get in tip-top puck-shape!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a fashion designer? A puck-tacular dresser!
Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? They had a case of the puck-ups!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a musician? A puck-tastic performer!
Why did the hockey player go to the beach? They were looking for a good puck-up line!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a mathematician? A puck-ulator!
Why did the hockey player go to the zoo? They wanted to see the puck-uins!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a writer? A puck-ing good author!
Why did the hockey player go to the hardware store? They needed to buy a new puck-et wrench!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a gardener? A puck-tastic green thumb!
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? They needed to make a puck-deposit!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a comedian? A puck-ing hilarious guy!
Why did the hockey player go to the library? They were looking for a good puck-book!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a chef? A puck-tastic cook!
Why did the hockey player go to the gym? They wanted to get in tip-top puck-shape!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a fashion designer? A puck-tacular dresser!
Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? They had a case of the puck-ups!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a musician? A puck-tastic performer!
Why did the hockey player go to the beach? They were looking for a good puck-up line!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a mathematician? A puck-ulator!
Why did the hockey player go to the zoo? They wanted to see the puck-uins!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a writer? A puck-ing good author!
Why did the hockey player go to the hardware store? They needed to buy a new puck-et wrench!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a gardener? A puck-tastic green thumb!
Why did the hockey player go to the bank? They needed to make a puck-deposit!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a comedian? A puck-ing hilarious guy!
Why did the hockey player go to the library? They were looking for a good puck-book!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a chef? A puck-tastic cook!
Why did the hockey player go to the gym? They wanted to get in tip-top puck-shape!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a fashion designer? A puck-tacular dresser!
Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? They had a case of the puck-ups!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a musician? A puck-tastic performer!
Why did the hockey player go to the beach? They were looking for a good puck-up line!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a mathematician? A puck-ulator!
Why did the hockey player go to the zoo? They wanted to see the puck-uins!
What do you call a hockey player who’s also a writer? A puck-ing good author!

Best Ice Hockey One-Liner And Puns

You know you’re a true ice hockey player when your idea of fine dining is not getting a tooth knocked out at dinner.
What do ice hockey players and magicians have in common? They both do hat tricks!
Why don’t bank robbers make good hockey players? Too many checkings!
What’s an ice hockey player’s favourite exercise? The puck-ups!
Why do goalies make good comedians? Because they always catch the pucks line!
Why should you never play ice hockey with birds? They always steal the puck for their nests!
What’s a ghost’s favorite position on an ice hockey team? Ghoul-tender!
Why are bad ice hockey teams like old trousers? They both have lousy checkers!
Why did the hockey puck go to the party? Because it was tired of being slapped around!
How do ice hockey players stay cool during a game? They chill next to the boards!
Why are hockey games always won in the kitchen? Because that’s where all the best cups are!
Why did the ice hockey player go to jail? Because he was guilty of high-sticking!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up at the hockey game? Because it was two-tired!
Why are ice hockey games great meals? They show you what it’s like to have all your teeth in a row!
Why did the pie go to the ice hockey game? Because it wanted to be a puck!
How is an ice hockey player like a woman in labor? They both need to breathe, push, and get it over with!
How do you get a hockey player off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!
Why are hockey players like gold? Even when they’re in the box, they’re valuable!
Why do hockey players never sweat? They have ice in their veins!
What do you call a hockey player who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
Why did the hockey team go to the bakery? Because they needed a good roll!
How do puck and a cupcake differ? One gets frosted after the game, the other during!
Why do hockey players avoid playing cards with cats? They’re afraid of getting scratched!
Why is there no tea in hockey? Because it’s a cup only!
Hockey players are like morning people: they’re better when they snap to it!
What’s the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match? In a hockey game, the fights are actually part of the show!
Why did the hockey puck break up with its partner? It was tired of being on ice!
Ice hockey – when brushing your teeth is considered optional!
What do a hockey player and a magician have in common? They both disappear after the act!
Why are hockey players like coffee? The best ones grind till the end!
Hockey: where the players earn their stripes and lose their teeth!
Why don’t ghosts play hockey? The puck goes right through them!
What do you call a group of musical hockey players? The puck band!
Why don’t vampires play hockey? They’re afraid of the crosses!
Why is dating a hockey player hard? You never know when they will whip out their stick!
Hockey can be a shocking sport. Especially when you get a charge penalty.
Ice hockey: the only job where you’re praised for having a cool head and ice in your veins.
Why don’t aliens play hockey? They can’t stand the chill!
Why are hockey players like lazy dogs? They both spend a lot of time in the penalty box!
Why was the sun not allowed to play hockey? It kept melting the ice!
How do ice hockey stars light up the rink? With their match stick!
Why are hockey skates like historians? They both dig up the ice!
Why don’t chess players make good hockey stars? They lose their knights too easily!
What do you call a hockey player with no girlfriend? Goal-less!
A hockey player’s diet: ice before game, fights for meat, and cup for dessert!
Any hockey player can handle the puck. A real pro handles the punch!
Why can’t you play hockey with pigs? They hog the puck!
One liner for a hockey romance: “Whistle at me and I’m yours!”
Why do goalkeepers love grocery shopping? They’re good at keeping things out of the net!
What do you call a leisurely game of hockey? A slow poke-check!

Funny Ice Hockey Puns To Share With Your Friends and Family

Why do good hockey players make lousy dancers? Too much focus on checking!
How do you get a hockey player to stop biting his nails? Make him wear gloves!
Why is ice hockey is like a rock concert? There are a lot of hits, and you never want the show to end!
Why are hockey players like bakers? They both need loaves to score!
Why’d the dentist become a hockey coach? He knows the drill!
Why do they never serve beer at a hockey game? Because it’s cold enough!
What’s a ghost’s favorite hockey position? The ghoulie!
What do you call an open-netter in hockey? A freebie!
Why do bakers make good hockey players? They’re great at rolling the dough!
How are hockey players like pancakes? They both get flipped and served!
What do you call a fish who plays hockey? A puck-erel!
Why are hockey games like sandwiches? They’re better when they slap together!
How do hockey players spice up their food? They use penalty pepper!
What do you call a hockey player with a cold? A snot rocket!
Ice Hockey: the only job where losing teeth is seen as a promotion!
What’s an eco-friendly hockey player’s favorite rule? Recycling the puck!
What do hockey players and trees have in common? The good ones stick around!
I told my doctor I get dizzy playing hockey. He said I got checked too hard!
Why don’t vampires love hockey? They can’t handle the stakes!
Why can’t Picasso be a good hockey player? Because every time he gets the puck, he tries to paint with it!
What do you call a hockey player that has a bad aim? A puck miss!
Why did the tomato turn red during the hockey game? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don’t figure skaters play hockey? Too much stick work!
Why is a referee like an angry chicken? They both get fowled up!
What do you call a caveman who’s good at hockey? A Puck Neanderthal!
What’s the hardest part about ice hockey? The ice doesn’t fight back, but the puck does!
How do hockey keepers enter the rink? Well, they just waltz in through the net door!
Why are hockey players so tough? They can nail a check without batting an eye!
Why are most hockey players gardeners at heart? Because they always root for more!
Why did the sandwich become a hockey fan? It admired the big buns!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite vegetable? Puck-choy!
Hockey: where your job is to stick it to them!
What’s ice hockey’s unofficial bird “The ducking bird” – ’cause there’s always someone ducking a puck!
Why do hockey players always carry a map? So they never miss the goal post!
Did you hear about the hockey player that leaves his heart on the field? He literally puts all his organs on ice!
Why are hockey players like public speakers? They both need a hook to keep the crowd engaged!
Hockey players’ motto: “Keep your friends close and your enemies in the penalty box!”
Why’s the hockey game a great place for a date? Because every second counts!
How does a hockey player express love? He gives you a puck and says, “I’m all yours, check me out!”
Hockey players don’t need tattoos. They wear their passion on their sleeves!
Why did the ice hockey player go to heaven? Because he made the perfect angel … on the ice!
What do you call a defensive hockey ogre? A block-ness monster!
How do hockey players keep their pants up? With ice-belts!
Why did the hockey player stand behind the clock? He wanted to get in some extra seconds!
What’s a cliche for a cold, tough hockey player? Chill old as ice!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Check n’ roll!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite shoe brand? Puckamas!
Why are Pharaohs bad at hockey? They try pyramid defense!
How do you know a cool hockey player? He gets more time in the freezer!
Hockey players are like the mafia. They both make you an offer you can’t refuse and leave you bruised!

Final Words:

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Chetan Kumar

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Hey, I am Chetan Kumar owner of Punss.com. I made this site to add humor to your life. I love to laugh and I am pretty sure you do too. So let's share some jokes, puns and funny nicknames. Let's make each second joyful.